A semi-fond farewell to PES2017

It’s over. PES2017 Master League Season 10 has finished with me scooping the League and Champions League Double. The addition of remaining Invincible all season in the League makes for a unique kind of Treble.

I’m so pleased with notching up an Invincible season that I’m going to zoom in on my individual stats.

Lovely. I only just avoided keeping the Goals Against column in single figures too.

I know. This achievement has as much to do with glaring AI deficiencies than with my dubious skillz. That’s something for me to mull over in the future, in September’s end-of-year review of PES2017 perhaps. Here and now, I’m all for enjoying the moment.

The long odyssey that began in mid-September 2016 came to an end yesterday afternoon, 17 April 2017. The game lasted 7 (SEVEN) full calendar months.

Whatever else might be said of PES2017, that’s some sterling service, right there. PES always gives me incredible value for money. That’s been true of every single edition of the game.

My star striker this season has been Aduriz. He bagged 5 in the first leg of the Champions League semi-final. I chanced upon this individual post-match stats screen that I did know was there, but have criminally under-perused throughout PES2017:

A great performance from a player who would have become a personal PES legend, I am sure, if I played a few more seasons.

I was looking for the overall match stats:

Look at the fouls and free kicks stats, there. Literally zero fouls on me in a full-blooded. hectic, high-scoring Champions League semi-final tussle. PES2017’s qualities arguably pale into insignificance when faced with its lack of AI fouls.

The final was against AS Roma.

Things started badly and carried on from there. I hacked and slide-tackled as much as I felt like doing. That’s what these modern-day football games have trained us to do, right? So I did it.

Just as a real-life defender bear-hugging a forward at a corner knows that 99% of the time the match officials will do nothing and it’s therefore worth the risk, so it goes with playing max-aggression style in our current football games. You nearly always get away with it, so you might as well do it.

But this time I got Bruno Alves, my big dependable CB, sent off. This was in the 40th minute. I was faced with playing more than a half of the Champions League final with 10 men.

And then I went 0-1 down after half-time. Things looked bleak.

But one of PES2017’s special features — scoring ‘easy’ goals from headers from crosses — came to my rescue. Even so, it was not a done deal and I had to fight for the chances. I was whooping when both goals went in. And won 2-1.

My two Champions League-winning goals are featured in today’s video, which covers ground from the last few League matches as well:

Also on show is the way Ibrahimovic is developing as an individual, scoring a signature goal or two and laying on a cheekily flamboyant assist as well.

I’ll miss quite a few things about PES2017, it turns out. Palacio, for one — easily my best player in PES2017, and one of my most memorable ever.

I will also miss Ibra. And Aduriz. And Wesley Sneijder, even if the post-match celebrations prove beyond all doubt that he is a vampire.

The Champions League final stats:

Yes, look again at the shameful statistic showing the number of AI fouls (0) and free kicks for me (0). This scandalous decision by Konami can never be ignored. It can never be forgiven. There will never, ever come a time when I’ll feel it’s been talked about enough.

The PES2018 demo will be with us before we know it. And I’ll assess it primarily according to the average amount of fouls I get per match. If the average — the AVERAGE — is below 4 AI fouls per match (and I think I’m being very generous stating such a low figure, there), I’m denouncing it straightaway. And I won’t stop mentioning it in every single post. I expect this is what’ll happen.

Palacio got Player of the Year. I got Manager of the Year, as is only right.

Curiously, I only had one player in the Team of the Tournament. Spot the marked bias toward one team in particular here — a team that only finished 6th:

They always program the next PES based on the current real-life football season’s happenings. So I have two predictions for PES2018: more than a few scorpion kick goals, and plenty of tough matches against a free-flowing Spurs.

I idly checked the top scorers for the Champions League. Wow:

I have no memory of Aduriz scoring that many.

I clicked through a few weeks after the last match of the season. Then, before the always-rubbish testimonial match, I switched off. I needed to edit today’s video in Share Factory. The PS4 gave me a gentle reminder:

I hit OK — with more regret than I thought I’d have. The last few sessions on PES2017 were pretty decent, actually. I might return to PES2017 before the year is over.

But for now, it’s on to pastures new.

Pastures old, I mean.

Updated: 17th April 2017 — 20:45


  1. Instantly added a ps2 to my watch list on ebay……

  2. Congrats n-G. Looking at those stats it looks like you have well and truly crossed the finish line of this ML and PES 2017.

    As tempted to pick up Fifa 17 as I am, I’ve decided to complete one last season of PES 2017. Currently second at the half way stage but out of the Champions League in one of those odd post Premier League winning seasons a few on here seem to have had.

    Really looking forward to the PES 5 revival. I’m planning on playing other games through the summer but at this stage, with Brighton in the Premier League with a fully realised Amex Stadium, I’m feeling more excited by Fifa 18 than I am PES 2018.

  3. Mike — you have the honour of being the first to make what I anticipate will be a very frequent type of comment. PES5 more than stands up to regular daily play in the year 2017. If my Season 1 experience so far is anything to go by, this will run and run all summer long 🙂 More on Friday — which will also serve as an Introduction/FAQ post for me to link back to in the coming months when required.

    Shed — I actually switched off PES2017 with some regret yesterday. My final two sessions on the game were solid 8.5/10 ones, with only the goddamn no-fouls thing spoiling a great run of matches. But yes, I have come to the natural end now.

    And so I crack on to the only PES that never reached a natural end, back in the day. PES5 gave me 40+ seasons, and I was still playing with enthusiasm and energy until the very night before PES6 was released.

  4. Don’t do it mike, it looks awful on modern hd tv. I believe NG plays via the pc with some sort of patch render type thing?

    That player stat screen would be a great addition to the game (the Aduriz passes made etc) were it not for the feeling that for numerous years it’s not the player influencing those numbers, simply who the cursor happened to land on. Yes there were one or two in the game for me at Man Utd who had some particular skills but overall it could say striker 1 and striker 2 and any data was not derived from their ability, just where you happened to look to move the ball. Now if you were to run an experiment by swapping players around once you’d noted their results to see if the man in position x replicated the scores that would be very interesting.

    Me, I’m in the real world and a bloke called Rico blowing up a missile by riding it like a stallion.

  5. Uncle Turf — agreed the PS2 output to modern TVs is terrible, unless Mike plays with the display settings to replicate the old screen dimensions, i.e. shrink it to a 4:3 box on a widescreen display, which instantly makes it not worth doing IMO. Add the fact that Mike seems to be phobic of anything more complex than a doorbell and it’s a recipe for disaster.

    I’m playing on PC with just the regular PC graphics boost. It looks great on a 24″ HD monitor. I’m currently messing around with outputting to a 32″ TV via cable. (No, I don’t like any of this messing about. I will miss the convenience of console gaming for the next few months.)

    Re. the post-match stats, it’s all imaginary anyway — everything, literally everything, up to and including our very selves — so I just go with the flow.

  6. NG, I genuinely belly laughed at that! And you’re quite correct obviously. I remember last time I had a PS2 and played golden age pes (4 or 5 years ago) being unhappy with how it looked. Might just pick up an old TV from somewhere.

  7. Mike — you’re the only commenter 100% guaranteed not to be asking me in the coming months where to get a dodgy disk image and then how to get the game running on a PC. Uncle Turf is about 98%. You’re 100%.

  8. I’d make me 100% as I genuinely fear tinkering with pcs (why does that get apostrophised so often? And is ‘apostrophised’ a word?). I have had a couple of virus run ins in the past (one of them was a supposed secure sensible world of soccer download) and various unresolved graphics card/why can’t I see the game encounters, all adding to my sense of myself as doing the equivalent of popping up the bonnet on the car to poke around with a screwdriver. My work laptop has never had a game on it and never will. However, I did come across crusader kings II the other day and would love to fire that up on the old laptop for another shot. Unfortunately I just don’t find pc gaming relaxing. The fm return withered on the vine.

    I’ve owned three ps2s, none of which were purchased due to ylod, the latter two were eBay chasing the golden years. Not just for pes but my all time favourite PlayStation game – shadow of Rome. I got a renewed smile from it but it looked so bad I traded quickly. And then did the same again a year later after some of you reminisced.

  9. Might I also add my reaction to today’s news was to think Darryl will be moved at some point to complain about the whole rancid political mess and then correctly predict all 600+ seats, with majorities give or take a 1% error factor.

    I’m going to shut the news off for the next 50 days.

  10. Uncle Turf – ‘apostrophised’ is a word. And did the PS2 have a YLOD problem? I only ever had one PS2 and the crazy thing is I’ve still got it somewhere. Trouble is it’s in the loft. I’m scared to disturb it, it’s been left undisturbed so long, and I hear things skittering around up there sometimes.

    Just prepping Friday’s post in case work gets busy over the next few days – the first PES5 post has to be memorable – and I discovered this post which records me having doubts about The Greatest Football Game Ever Made. Turns out I played 3 seasons of PES5 in 2011 and wasn’t too impressed?! That kind of honesty is what I’ll try to deliver in the posts about PES5 over the next few months. It won’t be an uncritical nostalgia-fest. I haven’t got the luxury of being able to spend time on a game I don’t really want to play, so PES5 will have to deliver the goods.

  11. Turf – I have yet to study the data but can say with confidence that it is likely to be very messy for Labour. I do actually get inside information and polling data and can say that first of all Labour are in for one of their worst showings in the local elections, followed by just as bad a time in the General no doubt. As for politics it is just one big rancid mess indeed. The powers that be are desperate for us to still believe and ram it down our neck about how important our vote is, when the opposite could not be more true.

  12. Turf – I wonder if PCs is apostrophised often as PC is an abbreviation? My previous experiences of PC gaming were the same as yours but I am amazed by how much it has come on in the last few years – so far on my new laptop all I’ve had to do is download games (very cheaply) on Steam, plug in a Xbox 360 Windows controller, whack all the graphics settings up to ultra and bobs your uncle. Actually quicker and more convenient than console gaming as load times are shorter

    not-Greg – 10 goals against all season is a pretty amazing achievement. Although PES2017 is a relatively easy edition it can sometimes weasel 2-3 goals past me in a few minutes with the help of some sneaky tricks, in fact I conceded 6 league goals in last night’s session alone

  13. I wonder if PCs is apostrophised often as PC is an abbreviation?

    abbeyhill – I am going to ignore that transparent baiting attempt.

  14. Turf – just to follow the next big shock will be Le-Pen to win the French election. The viewpoint is that Macron is the front runner and should he face Le Pen in the second round he would easily win. I have seen figures banded about around the 68% to 32% mark. That would not be my analysis at all and am leaning to a close Le Pen win. There could even be a scenario where Macron failed to reach the second round.

  15. Turf – Been getting back into Pro Evo 2017 today after 2 weeks not playing and checked my stats. I havent won a bean in the last 2 seasons. Need to get my finger out. Dropped into the Europa League this season from CL group stage. Haven’t won it in this year’s edition. Onwards.

  16. ‘Whack all the graphics settings up to ultra’….that in itself sounds a challenge. I really was a fine example of how little sales people know about their product, I’d happily drop in the abbreviations ; ) (sql, etc) but had no idea what any of it meant, what it looked like or did. The only thing I ever actually used and quite liked was lotus notes, the rest was smoke and mirrors.

    Darryl – I concur, I’d forgotten there were locals looming but assume corbyn is either too stubborn to accept he is going to be wiped out or has no option but to bluff it out. I anticipate we will be left with pockets of former mining towns and the odd metropolitan borough returning labour MPs, the rest of the map will be blue due to a real lack of alternatives. Up here it really is pointless thinking you can oust the pigs bladder on a stick they chose for us. He symbolises mediocrity in our politicians. By contrast I rather enjoyed that programme on the House of Lords the other month, I’d quite fancy a seat in that if ever they needed a postgraduate dinner lady to enhance their diversity.

  17. Congrats on the invincible season and the double.
    Don’t get on as much now because the chronicles is now blocked at work. The 3rd party filtering/firewall database must have updated and is. Ow classing the blov as gaming so can’t access it all day. Only via my phone.

  18. Oh no you don’t Turf. I’m letting my Lotus Notes inner rage subside. Must be calm…

  19. If it helps I detested sharepoint?

  20. Who doesn’t. It’s like saying you’re keen on real ale and then someone buys you a pint of Bass. Actually maybe it’s not like that at all.

  21. Do they still sell Bass? It was the local student pub house ale when I lived in a city of many and varied brews. Foul muck, only beaten in the ditchwater stakes by the Tetleys they served in the pub further down the road.

    Fortunately for my waistline I rarely get chance to sample the finer ales of England these days.

  22. It was/is bad, hence the rhyming medical condition that accompanies it. The other bad one when I lived in the Midlands was 6X.

  23. I have a peculiar thing for Microsoft Word 2010. Not Microsoft Word per se, which I am mostly indifferent to (don’t love it, don’t hate it). But specifically Microsoft Word 2010 for some reason excites me.

  24. I’m worried. Does the ribbon get you all tingly or something?

  25. I think it was the first MS Word I ‘understood’. It spoke to me. The versions since, much like PES, have added refinements that have not greatly improved the product.

  26. my PES2017 story wending its way towards conclusion now. Tight champions league wins against Barcelona and Udinese leave me with a semi versus a useless looking Lazio and then final against Man U or Real Madrid. As many others have noted the AI transfer market is awful this year, most of these giant teams are riddled with 70-ish OVR players and no better than opposition in the French league. Domestic cup final against Monaco to come and the league is in the bag 17 points clear with 5 to go, so fingers crossed for a treble. Highlight of last night was a ‘disgusting’ (to borrow modern football hipster parlance) backheel volley from Jarvis across the PSG keeper. I let Hettich captain the side for the league decider, he has been a rock solid contributor over the 10 seasons

  27. Now 15 points behind Man Utd. Oh dear

  28. Lloyd – showing the rustiness of a long break there. I agree with the general view that PES2017 does roll over after a while, but I was still battling in every match mostly. If I hadn’t promised myself the summertime treat of PES5, I could’ve gone on for another season or two I think.

    abbeyhill – Hettich? Bring back Irjescu!

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