Ask Jarvis

Season 9 is over. I won the League at a relative canter in the end.We finished joint-second-highest goalscorers. Largely thanks to the midseason-discovery of the ‘trick’ to scoring headed goals from crosses and corners: press shoot while the ball is still miles away from the player. Who knew?

All’s fair in love and PES, and the trick helped my new striker, Aduriz, to 4th spot in the final top scorers’ chart. Around 12 of his 19 goals were headers.

I won the title with a match to spare. I don’t have any footage of the post-game celebrations. Not even a screenshot. I pressed Start at the same moment in which I noticed my players were jumping around, and thus skipped everything. Not that there’s much to see when you win a title in the Premier League.

My other target for this season was the Europa League. In all my time on Master League down the years, I’ve rarely won the UEFA Cup-equivalent competition, whatever name it’s gone under.

This season was almost certainly my last chance to win it. And what a chance — I swashbuckled my way to the final, playing some excellent matches against top-notch European opposition. And then the final was against Chelsea.

I groaned when I saw it’d be Chelsea. There are some matches in this Master League of mine that have never been great. Barely even good, most of the time. I’m talking about the fast, furious, fouls-free, flowing, ‘fun’ sorts of matches. You know, matches with the frenzied feel of online multiplayer transposed to the single-player arena. Abominations, all of them.

The Rivals matches were always the worst culprits for this. Somebody at Konami evidently thinks there should be fewer fouls, or even no fouls at all, in football derbies. Tsk, tsk. I hated Rivals matches so much that I removed all my club’s Rivalries in Edit mode.

But a great deal of regular matches against top domestic sides are like that too. Chelsea and Man City are the worst offenders. Man Utd and Liverpool next. Even Tottenham. I’ve had the odd good match against these sides, but more bad than good.

The Europa League final against Chelsea was a bad match. 0-0 it ended after 90 minutes. 0-0 after 120 minutes. The fouls count, after 120 minutes of high octane action, was 1-1. Disgraceful.

I lost the penalty shootout. I think I saved one, but I missed a couple.

At least the penalty shootout was enjoyable. PES’s new-style penalty system since PES2014 is the best we’ve ever seen in PES, arguably in any football game. The perfect mix of stats-based skill and luck, as it should be. What a shame a cup competition penalty shootout is the only time we really ever get to use it in PES2017’s Master League.

Jarvis retired. I picked him for the final league match of the season. He scored a neat goal that turned out to be the winner (it’s in the video below). I brought him off in the last few minutes. He took the crowd’s applause.

Along came the Old Boys match, which I haven’t played since the first few seasons, on account of it being usually rubbish. To my surprise Jarvis was the player whose testimonial it was.

I picked him in this too, and chose to play the match. It was another poor quality game. Messi was on the opposing team but I didn’t notice him once. That shouldn’t happen.

Here are a couple of highlights from the end of the season. Jarvis’s farewell goal and testimonial celebrations are in, and so is a decent long-ranger laces goal from Aduriz.

Onto Season 10, almost certainly the last on PES2017 for me. How about a triple-header Treble?

Updated: 20th March 2017 — 19:11


  1. thats the one i was trying to think of NG – i knew it was War something….. the one with the planes?
    great little game that!!!

    I hammered that so definitely off with the figures!!

  2. and Rocket League too, a few of us played a load of that last year

    Paul – you’ve convinced me at least on FIFA, hopefully it is still £20 for PS+ members in the store

  3. Abbey – I wasnt trying to convince anyone mate, i thoroughly enjoyed PES 17 despite some obvious flaws, overall it was a great PES title, and just honestly comment on what im playing and at the moment thats FIFA.

    It is a really good game and it would be a shame for people to not at least have a few matches and sample what it has to offer.
    I’m sure you’d enjoy it if you did.

    After playing 8 seasons of PES17 ML, FIFA just feels fresh, each matchday and build up to the match actually feels like a proper occasion, games with realistically varying CPU tactics, proper stadiums, not every game is played in a 60,000 continental arena-dome, playing southend away in a gritty midweek cup tie at a 10,000 stadium – it really makes the game feel different.

  4. Champions league final was a filthy mess of pes wrongness. Zlatan hit the woodwork four times, there were two fouls in 120 mins of play, 0-0 aet….yet amazingly I won 3-0 on penalties as they contrived to miss their first three efforts.

    Pl and cl double from admittedly strong positions in January. Not so much boom as ….om

    Not much knocking around to sign – the made up players seem to be high now while the known stars are hitting mid 30s and soon to regen. Could be a struggle to build up the squad. Knocked back the Chelsea job and as Roma which could have been interesting. Maybe next year.

  5. Paul – I loved Warhawk back in the day. It was a novelty in 2007, a game like that on console. I spent hours with a sniper rifle camped in certain spots on certain maps that overlooked the main melee zones, just getting one or two kills, feeling good about them.

    Uncle Turf – that’s exactly what my Europa League final was like. 120 minutes of ‘fun’, flowing action. 0-0. I think there was 1 foul apiece. If I was rating the individual match out of 10 I’d have given it 2/10, and that would have been for the penalty shootout. I’m getting quite a few similar sub-par matches at the start of Season 10, as today’s post will touch on.

  6. It was a great game NG, shame they don’t remaster it for PS4.

    I meant to mention this before but forgot.
    I played Southend in an FA Cup tie, giants vs minnows, at their gritty little stadium, the ball was bobbling all over the place, first touches were poor, Southend played the bully boy tactics which worked for the first half, until I had my shirt tugged back in the box and scored the penalty, then i went on to win easily 3-0.

    The main point being in that one match, the fouls count was 4 against me, 2 yellow cards, and 12 against Southend, 4 yellow cards, 1 penalty and 3 FK's in shooting range!

    Thats more than an entire season of matches on PES. FIFA couldn’t be more aimed at online players, with their Ultimate Team mode being their golden boy money spinner, yet EA still manage to create a highly realistic offline game with the core basic rules of the sport included, so Konami’s slant towards an end to end high octane game aimed at online doesn’t wash for me anymore, they just haven’t implemented the collision detection, physicality model or referring logic correctly, which is shocking.

  7. Because of your comments of Warhawk I just realized 2007 is now 10 years ago and justifiably referred to as “back in the day”.

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