(Of all the cheesy puns I’ve come up with for my post titles, that’s got to be the cheesiest. And it doesn’t actually mean anything.)

Beerens is the man of the moment. He’s one great player among many great players in my team right now. But he’s standing out for several reasons.

My other players are mostly doing what they have always done. Schwarz and Shimizu are banging in the goals (Shimizu is ten times the player in the right-sided CF slot in my formation then he ever was as an AMF). Kaiser continues to be - my favourite PES player trait - solid. Bradley is a superb DMF. Felipe and Mattsson are impregnable at the centre of defence. Lekstrom is a good keeper - as far as keepers go in PES2008.

Marcos was called up for the Spanish national squad and I played Beerens in his position for a couple of games. Beerens has held onto that position. There’s one good reason why. Well, a couple of good reasons, really: Beerens’ vital goals in a couple of key games have kept my season alive (just), and also there’s this:

Finally, finally, finally. A true long-distance strike into the ‘postage stamp’ corner of the net (near enough). They’re actually a lot harder to get in PES2008 than they were in the last couple of versions. You can see me getting a bit excited whilst filming the first replay angle. I slightly missed capturing the exact moment the ball went into the net. Hence the second angle.

I forget exactly which opponents that goal was against. I’ve been playing the games at such a rate that my quickly-handwritten notes are somewhat… chaotic.

In the League I have recovered my form, and things go from strength to strength. 5-1, 3-0, 4-2 - that kind of thing. I’ve shot up to second place just behind Manchester United, the only team to have beaten me in the league so far.

The next D1 cup tie is a few weeks away. I’ll complete my ECC qualifying group games first. In my next match I played Toulouse at their ground and won 1-5. That was very satisfying indeed after they beat me at mine. And the result has pushed me straight to the top of the group table, albeit on goal difference. But still, I’ll take it.

It’s worth noting that Toulouse’s left-back in this game was… Mathieu. The same Mathieu whom I have courted like an anxious lover for most of the past six seasons. The same Mathieu who has snubbed me every time. He had the sheer cheek to score Toulouse’s goal in this game. It was a meaningless strike from a free kick (of course) when I was already 4-0 up. But it still pained me. Curse you Mathieu!

With one game to go in the ECC group, against PSV, it looks like I could get away with a draw and still qualify, whatever the result in the Toulouse-Marseille fixture. But I don’t trust PES2008 not to swindle me out of my Treble dream somehow. I’ll be going all-out for the win. Going for the win ftw…

After taking on Chelsea on the opening day and beating them comfortably, I had another Championship six-pointer against Manchester United. This one went against me.

I was the away side. It was 0-2 to me before half an hour was over. Then Man Yoo switched on their razzle-dazzle, and my players wilted like men of straw.

The manner of the defeat rocked me back on my heels even further than the setbacks in the European Cup. I had my full First XI out. The players were mainly fully-fit and in good form (orange and red arrows all round). I started well, sure: two good goals from Schwarz and Beerens. But then I was steamrollered in the second half.

In the next league match I ‘only’ managed to draw against Liverpool. I was looking for the win - pretty desperately looking for it - and nearly threw the point away whilst doing so. In PES2008, the CPU teams are at their most dangerous on the counter-attack. This is particularly true following a corner against them. Liverpool almost won the game several times in that way. At the end I felt lucky not to have lost badly.

I’ve fallen to my lowest league position for two seasons. The wheels haven’t come off my league campaign just yet. But they are wobbling slightly. It’s far too early to run a warm bath and break out the razor blades, but it’s affecting my confidence, and in turn my performances.

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The Treble, though, is still on. Just.

The second leg of the D1 Cup first round tie against Newcastle was the most amazing, incredible, nerve-wracking match I have yet played on PES2008.

I lost the first leg 2-3 at home, remember, and approached the second leg with a certain feeling of Doom. This feeling was not alleviated when Newcastle quickly went into a 2-0 lead, as I again panickily raced around the pitch trying to get myself five goals in the first ten minutes or something.

That would seem to have been that as far as the pesky Treble was concerned. It was all over. Wasn’t it?

No. Not quite yet. I got one back before half time. Beerens, my pre-season signing, has been pretty damn good for me so far. He’s got a couple of goals in the league. He played in this cup match, and I scored with him before half time to give me a slender hope. 2-1.

It was still 5-3 on aggregate to Newcastle. I needed two goals just to get to extra time.

In the second half I pulled out all the stops, and had chance after chance. Newcastle counter-attacked dangerously. I lived on the edge at the back as I threw everything forward. Alan Smith raced clear around the 60th minute. Bramble was nearby, just behind and to the side. I sprinted him across as best I could (‘Bramble’ and ’sprinting’ do not sit well together). I thought I had the angle and the positioning to execute a slide tackle. So I did. But I missed the ball and brought down Smith when he would have been clean through. Red card for Bramble, and I was down to ten men.

I still felt I had a chance. I’ve won games easily before with ten men. Never mind that this was Newcastle in the Cup. I could do it. I rejigged my formation. Instead of bringing off a striker for a defender, I rearranged the remaining three defenders into a classic back three and just went for it with a 3-3-3. I got my reward soon after with a goal from Andy Cole. 2-2! But there were only ten minutes of the game left…

Then I only went and made things even harder for myself by getting another player sent off. Bradley this time. I slid in on a Newcastle player in midfield as I was trying desperately to get the ball back, and the resulting foul was deemed a red card offence. Curse you Seabass!

I didn’t bother trying to rearrange my formation this time. To hell with it. 3-2-3 or bust.

By the 90th minute I had more or less given up. I was already preparing my brave face for this here blog. Then a loose ball broke to Beerens on the edge of the box and I took a shot… Goal.

2-3 to me, a mirror image of the first leg scoreline. With the last kick of the 90 minutes. Somehow, I had clawed my way back. Don’t ask me how. It felt more than a little odd at the time. If the game was scripted in my favour, so what. I was too busy punching the air. Bless you Seabass…

In extra time, I was more cautious with my play. I took off a striker and rearranged my defence into an orthodox back four. I pulled my two midfielders back as deep as they could go. I left my strikers up front, hoping to pick up scraps. I was by no means settling for a penalty shootout. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t concede again. I’d rather go out on penalties than go out by conceding a soft goal after all my efforts to get back into the tie.

Extra time was tough. It was a grim battle against fatigue and error, my players’ and my own (this was all taking place at 3 a.m. in the real world). Newcastle pressed constantly but somehow never quite got through. Whenever I got the ball I had few outlets up front or in midfield. The ball always came right back at me. I carved out a few opportunities but missed them all. So, fortunately, did Newcastle.

Penalties. I scored all five of mine. Newcastle missed one of theirs. I was through to the next round.

It felt good.

I know. The coin-toss of a penalty shootout happened to go my way instead of the CPU’s way. I’ve seen my players in penalty shootouts on PES blaze the ball high over the bar or at a post for no real reason too many times to believe that there was any actual skill involved on my part. I was just happy to be through.

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For the Treble to be still on, I had to win all three of my remaining games in the European Championships qualifying group. I’d lost two and drawn one of the opening ties. I was bottom of the group.

Here in stoppage time at the end of a somewhat overlong post (that Newcastle game was just epic), I’ll keep it short, sweet, and simple: I took on Marseille at home and trounced them 4-1. This was on the back of the D1 Cup result. I was on a high. I went into the Marseille game knowing I could and should and would win it easily. And I did.

The qualifying group table still makes for uncomfortable viewing. It’s very disappointing to be bottom with two games to go. But those points totals next to the teams’ names are bunching up nicely.

The league is still going well. Played 4, won 3, drawn 1. Beat Club Brugge 5-0 with a hat trick from Orellano (a PES stalwart who is just starting to come good). Thumped Everton 4-0. A tough 1-1 draw at Newcastle. I’m second in the table and well-placed to maintain the title challenge.

There’s a but, though.

The crowded fixtures list here at the start of the season is not doing me any favours (getting the excuse in early…).

I’m kind of prioritising the League, making sure to use Schwarz and Shimizu, Felipe and Mattsson, Bradley and Kaiser in particular solely for those games. The rest can fill in for the Cups. I’m not operating a formal Second XI system as I tried so unsuccessfully to do last season.

As good as I think my squad is, I’m struggling to cope with the Cup games using my squad players.

In the Division 1 Cup, I have played the first leg of the opening fixture against Newcastle. It was at my ground, and I lost painfully 2-3. So not only am I behind going into the second leg, but I shipped three away goals. Oops. That’ll be a testing return tie at Newcastle’s place.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, there was worse to come.

First up in the ECC (the PES version of the Champions League) were Marseille. The game was at their ground. Home field advantage doesn’t seem to make much difference in PES - or, indeed, in any football video game. Has anyone ever noticed anything different?

Having said that, despite me taking an early lead and bossing most of the first half, Marseille went into overdrive in the second half. They played as if they were being spurred on by a vociferous home crowd. They double-whammied me with two late goals and won 2-1. I shouldn’t have tried to chase the game after their equaliser. I should have shut up shop and settled for a 1-1. This is a group setup, after all. Taking the point would have been the smart thing to do.

Toulouse were next. I went into this one full of confidence, on the back of handing out that 5-0 thrashing to Brugge in the league. I fielded what I thought was a great side: Shaw played, Beerens played, Andy Cole played, Traore played. It was at my ground. Any home field advantage that may be modelled in PES should make this an easy win. Right?

Wrong. Coventry City 1 - 3 Toulouse.

I can’t even complain about scripting - not too much, anyway. Toulouse just seemed to play better than me. My players were sluggish and I failed to take many good chances to score.

Played two, lost two in Europe is not Treble-winning form. In the last of the first games against the other group hopefuls, I played PSV. This was a titanic game. I took the lead, then I gave away a stupid goal, then PSV took the lead, then I equalised. Then PSV scored a third. There were about ten minutes left. Damn.

I went into full-on panic mode. My season was disappearing in front of eyes, right here, right now. I charged all over the place. My finger barely left R1 (I know...). PSV were playing keepball. Then I got Mattsson sent off.

2-3 behind and down to 10 men, in the last seconds of stoppage time I raced forward with Beerens, more in desperate hope than any kind of realistic expectation. Lose this game and kiss goodbye to the Treble, I was thinking.

I skinned a PSV midfielder with Beerens and went on one of those long, looping, semi-circular runs that people who play this game online seem to do all the time. I burst down the wing and sent over a cross… and there was Reyes on the penalty spot to head the ball in. 3-3, and the final whistle blew straight after their kick-off.

So, I salvaged a morale-boosting point right at the death. But will it be enough? I’ll have to win all three remaining group games to be sure of finishing in the top two and progressing to the ECC tournament proper. These are worrying times.

This season, for me, is all about the Treble: League, Cup, European Cup. Winning one or two of them without the third would be a failure.