It’s started already. Actually, it never really stopped. The PES vs. FIFA ‘war’ is an ongoing battle without any clear objectives, no end in sight, and battalions of disgruntled troops on both sides, permanently shelling the other side. Brace yourselves for the appearance over the next few weeks of the traditional annual articles that compare the two franchises using the conceit—wait for it—of a football match played between the two of them! Thus, PES kicks off and is brutally tackled by FIFA; then FIFA goes on a mazy dribble and knocks one into the net; then PES comes back with a forty-yard curler into the top corner… aaaaaand so on.

The peculiar thing about this year is a growing band of deserters from the PES side. I’m kind of one of them, I suppose. Yes, I would have to admit to that. I’m loose and I’m drifting in no-man’s-land. I’m uncertain where I really belong. I have not gone over to the ‘enemy’ as such—not yet, anyway…

PES and FIFA forums are always an interesting read if you have an interest in net culture, and particularly in how people talk about, argue about, and generally enthuse about their favourite computer games. It’s a very long time since I was a regular poster on any internet forum. Nowadays I’m mostly an observer. I just haven’t got the time or (frankly) the interest any more in spending 20 minutes composing replies to, oh, MadDogz1991 or whoever, about the precise meaning of the word ‘arcadey’ in relation to next-gen PES2008, for example.

One of the most noticeable things that has happened to PESfan.com over the past few seasons is that its forums have dipped a little in quality. Back when I first discovered the PESfan forums, they were very much like PES itself: sensible, mature, thoughtful—all of those disreputable things… Nowadays the PESfan forums are still like PES, but not in a good way: they’re fast, crude, and pretty youthful. The old guard are still there, and there is still a lot of quality discussion going on. But it tends to be drowned out nowadays by the generic internet OMG ROFLMAO crowd. We all know who they are…

The official FIFA forums are no better. In fact, they’re a good deal worse—which is perhaps reflective of FIFA’s traditionally younger fanbase. At any one time most of the posts on page 1 of the official FIFA09 forums are absolute drivel. Pure, unadulterated drivel—some of the very worst drivel you could ever (not) wish to see anywhere on the internet. I’m not trying to be unkind or supercilious about it. I don’t regard my own output, here or elsewhere, as being much more than a different kind of drivel. But the average contents of the FIFA09 forum (and, to a lesser degree, of PESfan’s General Discussion section) at times makes my stuff look like War and Peace. So I suppose I should be grateful. Everything is relative. Everything.

I’ve slightly drifted away from the actual subject I wanted to talk about. I tend to do that. I tend to drift. What I wanted to talk about was the way that partisans in both camps—PES and FIFA—are once more positioning themselves for a face-off. Who will take the crown (or ‘da crown’)  this year as the bestest ever football game?!?! That’s what they’re all talking about, in various forms, on both boards.

It’s a very important topic to lots of people. I shouldn’t scoff, because I’m just as fascinated by the unfolding debate as the next football gamer. PES vs FIFA is an important issue for me too, although I suspect in a different way. I’d like both games to be great, with the question of ‘which is the best?’ really coming down to personal choice, as always. The best possible outcome for football gamers this year is for there to be no clear winner in the latest battle. Two eqaully great football games with pluses and minuses in each, complementing one another, facilitating a year-long feast of football gaming—this would be the dream scenario. Surely?

You’d think so. But, alas, the kids have invaded, and one of the hallmarks of kids (of all ages) is that they like to band together into groups, and they like to belong to the best gang. I want to stress here that, although I’m a hairy-arsed thirty-something, I’m not placing myself above this petty squabble. I’ve done my time in ‘the best gang’ (PES). I’ve spent most of the last 10 years feeling superior to the fools who played FIFA. I’ll admit it.

But this year I’ve found myself playing FIFA08 and enjoying it. I’ve played it pretty regularly all year. It’s been eight months since the PS3 version of PES2008 last appeared on my TV screen. After everything that ISS and PES games have meant to me over the years, it does feel like a betrayal. I still can’t get over it (or stop bleedin’ talking about it) even now, almost a year later…

I think most players of computer football games are still very much loyal to one or the other. There are PES players for whom FIFA is anathema, for whom any suggestion that it might be, well, pretty good lately, is merely a sign that yet another so-called PES fan’s soul has become hopelessly corrupted.

PES vs FIFA is a battle that will probably be fought for as long as the two games are around. It’s human nature, and it actually boosts the profiles of both games in the gaming world. There’s always something to talk about when there are two football gamers in a room, real or virtual. But it has to be borne in mind that this ‘forever war’ is actually a phoney war, simply because it can never really end. It’s part of the hype, the culture, the marketing of both games. If it was a real war then there would be a definite winner and a loser. There never can be, despite what the kids—of all ages—say on the goddamn internet.

Getting back to business in PES2008 after a few days away is always a pleasure. Familiarity breeds contempt, and absence makes the heart grow fonder. I’ve said it before and I will say it again: computer games and the game of football fit together like a hand in a glove. My gaming habits have altered over the years. The days when I could routinely play games for 12 hours a day are now long gone. I miss those days.

Most kinds of computer games require a specific time commitment. You have to sit down regularly and give them the same kind of organised attention that you would give to a film—Metal Gear Solid 4 being a singular case in point. Now, like most people I love Metal Gear as I love life itself, and I love MGS4 as the sine qua non of Metal Gear, but when it comes to the best use of my time I vastly prefer the on-the-go, day-by-day, long-term commitment that a game like PES demands of me.

The same goes for any sport-based game, really. I have a career going on my PSP copy of Tiger Woods 06 that I still dip into occasionally. Ditto Madden 07 on the DS. One thing I love about playing PES is the episodic, bite-sized experience that it allows me to have of it. I’ve now been playing ISS/PES almost continuously for nine years; I’ve been playing this one career in PES2008 since early March 2008, a period of roughly 14 weeks. As great as a Metal Gear game can be, it just doesn’t lend itself to the same kind of long-term play. Even when I replay MGS4 (and I’m planning to replay all the MGS games, including the four PSP games, in chronological order at some point over the rest of the summer) the process will still have a definite beginning, middle, and end. Once I’ve finished them all I won’t play them again for a while, if at all.

But PES is open-ended, endless. PES, for me, is the ultimate sandbox game. Grand Theft Auto and its ilk can take a running jump.

—————

After 24 games in season 2018 of my ongoing Master League career, I’m riding high at the top of the league. I’m still unbeaten and would very much like to stay unbeaten until the end of the season. I have only ever had one unbeaten season in all my years of Master League, and that was way back in PES5. I’ve gone through loads of seasons where I’ve lost just one or two games, but I’ve only ever had that one unbeaten season. Fingers crossed.

A couple more steady wins in the league have left me 11 points ahead of Valencia. There are just six games left. The league is surely in the bag, but I won’t be making any assumptions and relaxing any time soon.

Earlier this season I went out of the Division 1 Cup, dashing my hopes for a Treble. The only trophies I have left to go for is a League and European Cup double.

In the first leg of the European Cup quarter final against Galatasaray I did a good job of nearly blowing it. Somehow I allowed them to score 3 goals against me at home. Happily, I came back to level it up at 3-3 before the final whistle blew, which made the second leg a lot more viable than it might have been.

The second leg was potentially treacherous in so many ways. Galatasaray had the away goals advantage, and they’ve been one of my traditional bogey teams in PES over the last couple of years. I needed to win the match, obviously. I needed to score early and hang onto my lead, and then build on it if I could. I did score early, and scored two more to make it 0-3 to me on the day, 3-6 on aggregate. I went through to the semi-final with ease. What was I ever worried about?

Anybody who has played PES for a long time knows, or at least suspects, that Master League isn’t always entirely fair to the human player. There are some fixtures—individual games against specific opponents at certain times of a season—that absolutely stink. Somehow the AI team, whoever they are, seem unplayable. They’re faster, stronger, luckier, more skilful. There seems to be nothing you can do to avoid a puzzling defeat (or an unwelcome draw) that completely goes against the form book.

I’ve certainly played lots of those games down the years. So have lots of other PES fans. I’ve read occasionally of people who have experimented with reloading these offending games and replayed them just to see what would happen, with interesting results. But I’ve never done it myself. I have a strict NO RELOADING rule that I have fanatically adhered to, split infinitives notwithstanding, for as long as I’ve played Master League. Reloading is just plain wrong. I never play with Master League’s ‘cheat prevention’ save option switched on because I don’t need it. Because I never, ever reload—not even for an experiment…

But finally, after all this time, I have made an exception. I have noted several times already that Osasuna seem to be the mother of all bogey teams for me. It happened last season and the season before that and the season before that. It also happened this season. I met Osasuna in the league and I played out of my skin but the game wouldn’t let me do anything. I’ll spare you the fine details—if you’re a diehard Master League player you’ll know exactly what I mean, and if you’re not then you won’t believe me anyway, so I won’t waste pixels detailing exactly how things went down. I lost the game 2-1. I could and should have won it 10-0. This has happened too often to me now. It was time to conduct a little experiment.

In the last seconds, just before the final whistle was going to blow (after a certain time playing PES you end up knowing exactly when that’ll happen), I paused the game. I went down the Pause Menu and hovered over the ‘Return to Top Menu’ option. I had never done this before. Was I really going to go through with it now? Yes, I was. I hit X.

After a short period of dizziness (what was I doing?!), I reloaded the previous save and restarted the Osusuna game. Here we go. This time, things were slightly different. I went into a 2-0 lead, and it was easy… Scripting in PES is a myth! I really am just a terrible, careless player, and scripting is a myth! It was all so clear to me now.

Then it started. Suddenly, the ball was bouncing off my players’ shins. Osasuna seemed to have a permanent swarm of players surrounding mine. They got one goal back. Then they got the equaliser. In the last ten minutes, they got their winner. How very odd…

So I did it again. I paused the game, reloaded the save, and restarted. Come on, Osasuna. Let’s be having you.

Attempt number 3 was the worst of all. This time, it stayed 0-0 until a long way into the second half. Osasuna have got two players with distinctive blond pony-talils—their goalkeeper, who is easily the greatest goalkeeper ever; and a preposterously busy, skilful, and strong attacking midfielder called Gottwald (pictured here in all his annoying, pony-tailed glory).

Gottwald played like a one-man team throughout this sequence of games. He was everywhere, doing everything, all the time. In this game he scored a hat trick in the middle of the second half. I lost my discipline and went down to 8 men. There was no way back. I didn’t count this game as a proper attempt. I’d clearly been sulking. I restarted again.

I’ll keep the rest of it short. I replayed this one fixture a total of six times before I managed, somehow, to pull off a 1-0 win. And it was truly miraculous, believe me. The pressure they put me under in the last twenty minutes was the most intense I’ve ever seen on PES. Nothing on earth would keep the ball at the feet of any of my players. Now, I certainly am an average PES player—but I am not a terrible, clueless PES player; I am not a noob. I know how to keep the ball when required. I know how to run down a clock. I do it routinely in the majority of games where I’m not blatantly handicapped and prevented from doing so, as I blatantly was in these six games.

It was the first time I had ever carried out an experiment like this. One of the reasons I’ve never done it before is the time factor. It took up my entire day’s playing session. But I think it was worth it. Finally I can agree with all of those forum posters—on PESfan and elsewhere—who have carried out similar experiments. It really, really is true that, sometimes, the game really, really is out to get you.

Of course, I didn’t accept that eventual 1-0 win. In the last seconds, I paused the game and went back and restarted it. Then I deliberately lost, making sure that the final result was the same 2-1 scoreline that I’d originally suffered in game #1 of the series. I have principles to uphold. I hadn’t started reloading the fixture in order to get a different result. It was just an experiment.