Season 2009 got underway with a big game against Lazio, one of Division 2’s toughest teams.

Lazio always give me a good game. I don’t recall ever having an easy time against them. Truth be told, there aren’t many games where I have a really easy time against anyone. It’s not just because most of my players are only above-average. My House Rules dictate that I keep the size of my squad to 25 players and that at least 5 of them have to be original Default players. Consequently I struggle to field a decent, fit team. Usually about half my players are missing several notches from their green stamina bars.

The only times when this does not apply are at the start of the season and just after the mid-season negotiations. So, actually, right now is the best possible time to play Lazio. I approached the game as if it was a very early championship six-pointer…

Singers FC 1-0 Lazio

…and it didn’t disappoint. This was one of the hardest games to get a result from that I have ever played on PES2008.

From start to finish it was as if I was fighting with the controller to get my players to do what I wanted them to do. I don’t think it was scripting. I never felt that my players were suspiciously below-par.

It was the Lazio players. They were superb, always chasing me down, intercepting passes, stringing together dangerous moves. My new defensive pairing of Jackson and Kompany (Jackson & Ko., I might start calling them) had their work cut out stopping the trademark Italian passing triangles on the edge of my box. Mathieu played deeper in this game than he probably will for the rest of the season. He was a true DMF, making numerous last-ditch tackles and generally just getting in the opposition’s way. Akinfeev was heroic at times in goal.

Then I had Kompany sent off. It was in the middle of the second half and I was starting to get complacent, thinking I had the defensive game sussed. I mistimed a sliding tackle and that was that: red card. Looks like I picked the wrong season to give up playing dirty…

But yet again, having 10 men seemed to give me a new lease of life. This happens so often in PES2008 that I have to say I believe it must be hard-coded into the game that a human player enjoys a wee bonus with 10 men. I kept the ball better. I passed better. My aerial through-balls started penetrating the Lazio back line. Near the end, I forced a corner…

The goal was a Lazio own-goal. I’ll take it.

Sampdoria 1-0 Singers FC

This game was everything that the Lazio game wasn’t. I enjoyed the lion’s share of possession, keeping Sampdoria down to one half-chance for most of the game, and pounding their goal with shot after shot (after shot) seemingly at will. Surely it was only a matter of time before I broke through?

But no. Their keeper saved everything. In three consecutive attacks I hit the post, the bar, and then the other post. I had that sinking feeling…

On a breakaway attack by Sampdoria, it happened. Their striker broke through clean on goal. El Moubarki was nearby. I did it again. I deliberately fouled the striker, from behind, 25 yards out. A red card and a free kick followed.

They scored from it. I’ve started to remove my defensive wall before most CPU free kicks (L2+down on the D-pad, repeatedly, until it’s done). Doing this moves your keeper back towards the middle of the goal, making it easier for him to save direct shots from the free kick. My goals conceded from free kicks have gone down by about 75% since I started doing this.

Akinfeev saved this free kick—but only deflected it onto the bar. Naturally the ball rebounded back into play and bounced through a penalty box packed with my players straight to the lone Sampdoria player. He tucked it away.

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So, I start season 2009 with a victory and a defeat. Not too bad really. Could have been better. I’ve yet to score a proper goal. I’ve really missed Altintop. Caracciolo is good, but Altintop was very good and well on his way to becoming great. I’m sure I would have got at least one goal with him in these games.

When you play nothing but Master League, after a few games of a season you just know how it’s going to go. You can instinctively take the measure of your team. It’s too early to tell right now. I’ll know after playing a few more games and seeing how my new players bed down into the team. If Kompany, Cassano, and Mathieu turn out to be good buys—and if the likes of Camacho and Caracciolo continue their solid progress—I’m convinced I could not only win promotion but win the D2 Championship as well.

Amid all my dejection over PES2008’s relative badness I’ve found a goal replay from a few games ago that I think is a bit special. It’s a free kick scored from a long way out and from a relatively acute angle.

The scorer is Schwarz. I went with him as the kicker in this situation because I wanted his shot power more than I wanted the technique of somebody like Shaw.

It’s one of my favourite goals in PES2008 so far. Yes, the keeper gets a hand to it and palms it into the roof of the net, but I don’t think even PES2008’s infamous keepers can be blamed for this one.

Recently I spent about an hour practicing free kicks on the training ground. I discovered that free kicks are not always fated to fly high over the bar or slam embarrassingly into the wall.

There are many little tricks that improve free kicks. I have found that simply reading the manual is the best trick of all.

My favourite free kick technique in PES2008: push up on the left stick. Press the shoot button for the desired amount of power. Then, just as the kicker is taking his run up, twist the stick in the desired direction, left or right, to apply some spin. If extra shot-power is required, tap Triangle (or Y on the 360) just as he connects with the ball. (That latter technique - adding power with a tap of a button - can be devastatingly effective when trying to score through a gap next to the wall.)

I used all three techniques for the Schwarz free kick goal, with the result seen. It might not satisfy PES purists, but I’m happy enough with it to declare it an early contender for my personal goal of the season.

Oh dear. I am not happy with PES2008 at the moment. I am not happy at all. Seabass, what were you thinking?

The picture is clear enough to tell the tale of the tape. I suppose I should be thankful that I ‘only’ managed to get 57% possession. Kaiser scored a hat trick in this game. When the eighth goal went in I was not thinking ‘wow!‘. I was thinking ‘ow…‘

This game was one of a cluster of similar games in the League. I was totally dominant, had chances galore, and could have scored 10 in each of them. I beat Blackburn 3-1 and it was easy. I beat West Ham 5-1 and it was easy. Then this 8-0 came along.

The sad truth about PES2008 is that goals are much too easy to come by. This means that, over a period of time spent with the game, there is a proportionate decrease in satisfaction at scoring them. I could draw up some kind of graph to illustrate this point, but I’m not very motivated right now.

If it wasn’t for Europe - where it seems a little tougher to score hatfuls of goals (as it should be) - and the occasional League game that’s also a bit of a struggle, I do believe I might have abandoned PES2008 a few days ago. That was when the novelty of being able to score almost at will started to wear off.

If the high-scoring matches were isolated instances of me playing particularly well, then there might be some hope. There might be some prospect of PES2008 having a year-long lifespan, like all its predecessors. But scoring four, five or six goals per game is the norm this year. And I am an average PES player.

PES2008 might not last until Christmas at this rate.

Fortunately, if/when I restart Master League, I can always go with my own House Rules to make the core gameplay challenging again. I could operate under any number of self-imposed restrictions.

I could avoid having some - or most, or all - of the players I’ve had this time round. I could limit myself to a squad of only 26 players. Or I could maintain an under-21 squad (i.e. only a handful of players allowed over the age of 21). Or I could do all of these things and a few more. Exactly how far the House Rules will go remains to be seen.

The idea is to force myself to play with a less talented team against teams with considerably more ability. I have done it before, in PES4 - another ‘easy’ year, but nowhere near as easy as this one. It worked very well back then, and I played that game for the whole year.

I’ve already tested how this could work on PES2008. On the back of my 100-goals-per-game run in Master League, I played several Exhibition games as Ireland against the likes of Brazil, Argentina, and Italy. The games were exciting again, as I defended for my life and had to make the most of the few good chances that came the way of my relatively less skilful players.

If it works in Master League, there might be life in the old dog yet. Of course, I’d have to review my House Rules on a season-by-season basis, to ensure I never again assembled a team of runaway superstars. But I’m getting way ahead of myself, talking like this.

I’ve won nothing yet. The way I’ve been talking recently is a textbook example of how to make a rod for your own back. Ah well. If I miss out on the Treble this season and end up with egg on my face I’ll just come back and edit out the last few paragraphs. Bwahahaha, as they say on the internet.

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Below is the current league table after 16 games. Manchester United have finally dropped some points. I’m a point behind them. Look at my goals scored: 62. After 16 games. My goal difference of +47 is stupid. Just stupid.

In Europe, I drew 0-0 with Le Mans - my only 0-0 all season in all competitions. In the D1 Cup, I easily overcame Galatasaray 3-0 in the second leg.

The Treble is still on. But I’m not as excited about going for it as I should be.

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Coventry City have reached the fabled ‘A’ rating for Team Popularity. It finally happened - at least three seasons later than it should have done, but I like to take the roundabout route to success.

The only thing to ponder now is: what happens next? I notice that the progress bar is still… progressing. Is there an A+ rank or something? Nobody tell me. I’ll find out for myself.

What a long season this is turning out to be. Once you start playing in Europe and doing well in the domestic Cup, it’s always been a long season in any Master League on any PES. Here I am in week 16 - still two weeks short of reaching the mid-season negotiations - and already I have played a total of 32 matches in all competitions.

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Next time on peschronicles: I film myself ceremonially melting the game disc in a vat of molten lead. No, not really. But almost…

Next time it’ll be the mid-season negotiations. A certain Monsieur Mathieu will be getting yet another call from me. You know, for old time’s sake.