The Churning of the Screw

I finally picked up Peter Crouch from my Youths, after resolving a knotty salary problem. I had 50 million in the transfer funds, but a negative salary budget. As others have remarked, it’s a shame you can’t divert money from one pot into the other as you can in FIFA. Although I think I prefer it this way. It brings some old-school difficulty and proper consideration to Master League. The dear old mode has been dumbed down so much in recent years. So I was glad of the salary budget problem.

I got rid of a few high-salary players. It’s a sign of the times that I can’t recall their names, apart from one (see below). The salary squeeze was eased enough for me to be able to sign Crouch.

Crouch was a hero of PES2015, and is already showing his worth three editions later. Those long, spindly legs seem to get on the end of speculative balls that other strikers just can’t reach. Still only a Youth and still only 16, but I have high hopes for this incarnation of football’s national treasure.

Whilst browsing in the Youths and in the wider transfer market, I’ve come across quite a few instances of this:

Ugh. I’m assuming that last week’s Superpatch removed a few players for whatever reason.

But why do it this way? Why not just remove them completely? Why leave a ‘Player Removed’ ghost of their former presence? This is horrible to see and about as counter-immersive as it gets. Shades of PES3’s ‘Oranges009’. (In PES3 there was a problem with Dutch licenses which meant all their players were called ‘Oranges123’ etc.)

Thanks to regular commenter Paul for my all-new Season 4 kits. I was wowed by the Away kit at first sight, but after seeing the Gazza-era Lazio-style Home kit too, I have gone with the whole package, including the GK outfit. We are the only Sky Blues. Nobody else is.

I had a decent January transfer window, in which the following event just had to happen:

Veldwijk is gone. The hero of Seasons 2 and 3 faded badly towards the end of my promotion year, and did nothing this season in the Premier League. Even the in-game text says he’s past his best and should be moved on. So off he’s gone. How eerily reminiscent of last year’s F FRIDAY trajectory. Friday ended up returning multiple times, as he was a youngster, but I believe this is the last we will see of the 30-something Veldwijk. Unless I’m still playing when he Regens. That is entirely possible, despite all my moaning about the game.

I brought in a few bench-fillers and rejigged my formation to place Emre Can at the centre of everything. Baker and Can take turns being excellent.

I think I’ve discovered a way to mitigate the ‘churn’ effect and force PES2018 to behave more like a proper PES game than it often wants to.

Away to Man City yesterday, I feared a 4-0 thumping or similar. That’s what’s been happening every time I’ve played a big team this season so far. I have stuck with Superstar difficulty, by the way. It’s brutal.

Against Man City I put the ATT/DEF level down to level 2 (TWO) and left it there for the whole match. I literally did not touch that dial, no matter what.

I was happy to see my team sitting deep and not committing so many men forward. I had to play my part and be disciplined with player switching and not using secondary pressure much, or at all. PES2018’s ‘churn’ – that incessant attack/counter-attack rhythm – was effectively nullified.

The match ended 0-0, a superb result for me. I restricted Man City to something like 5 shots on goal, only 2 of them on-target. I even had a couple of chances to nick the win.

Normally I’d have gone up to level 4 (FOUR) on ATT/DEF immediately after kick-off and stayed there for most of the match – and then this fixture would have played out like the proverbial nuPES basketball-hockey game, with scoring chances for Man City in the high teens.

Instead the match was slower and more methodical, with purple patches of action in proper proportion. This is my preferred recipe for PES gaming.

I carried the Level 2 philosophy into my next match, at home to Leicester. Because we were at home and because it was Leicester I adjusted the ATT/DEF level dynamically according to the match scenario, but still favoured Level 2 for 70% of the time. Won it 1-0.

In the next match, away to Liverpool, it all went a bit wrong when I conceded early after losing concentration. I went chasing the match using high ATT/DEF levels, and took a proper Superstar thrashing, 3-0.

These matches were among the best I’ve played on PES2018. It was only one session, but we will see.

Here is the current table, in the first week of February of Season 4:

Comfortable lower-mid-table mediocrity. No danger of relegation, which I’m pleased about after playing 80% of the season on the almost impossible Superstar level.

Updated: 24th November 2017 — 11:32


  1. Kits looking good NG.
    Seems PES 18 is perhaps settling down into a more stable, consistently enjoyable experience for you now?

    That league table looks decently realistic, in that the top 6 teams in the country are all in the top 7, even if Stoke, palace, Sunderland and Hull are all unrealistically high placed.

  2. That is one hell of a title. Best yet, I reckon. Is it intentionally a double entendre of a pun?

    You’ve got “The taming of the shrew,” and the “turning of the screw,” both covered. Great effort.

  3. At risk of jinxing Brighton’s inevitable win at Man Utd tomorrow, I’m back to give an update on my lack of PES playing (n-G pointed out the link between my not posting and Brighton’s surge up the Premier League a few weeks ago).

    Basically, I haven’t played all this week but I do feel quite satisfied that PES 2018 will be more than sufficient for my footy gaming needs for the foreseeable future.

    Good to see ML holding up in Div 1 for those who are up there. I’m currently top of Div 2 after ten games of season three and intent on promotion.

    I’m also pleased to see the wage budget do what I usually have to do with house rules in order to give some restriction on which players can be bought and/or kept. For this reason, I’ve dropped my usual wage-cap house rule – for now. I still only sign available players (listed or for loan) and am ignoring the youth team for now.

    Also, I’d like to add that while I don’t like cricket I do like the Ashes being on – especially as it’s in Australia. I like the narrative of a live event and as this is down under, I don’t have to watch or hear it.

    Oh and I’d like to just mention that I believe it was I who first used “churn” as the best way to describe today’s ML and it’s fixture list of foul-free and frantic matches. Just sayin’.

  4. Paul – it was but one session, but I’m hopeful now as I can’t see how it can’t continue on as long as I, myself, play ‘properly’. Playing with defensive discipline, methodically, seems to be the way to go. When we ourselves crank the ATT/DEF level up to 4 or 5, and bomb all our players forward, the mechanics of PES2018 are guaranteed to produce the kind of churning end-to-end relentless action that most old PESheads find so objectionable. We ourselves contribute to it. It was quite something seeing the Man City AI almost puzzled at my two banks of four on the edge of the box, instead of the three defenders that they’d usually face while the rest of my team was goal-hanging. Watch this space – this could be a huge turnaround. Jay will like this comment, I think.

    Jay – honestly I was going for Henry James, but will take the accidental Shakespeare, although the comedies are not my favourites.

    Shed – See the bit in the above post about ATT/DEF levels. My routine on nuPES has pretty much always been to batter the AI on high attack all the time, and in PES2016-17 that eventually won the day. In PES2018 that so rarely gets me anywhere that I’m relieved to be manning the trenches again, building from the back, taking my time, really focusing. Could be the start of a new phase, or could just be a blip on the road to the end of nuPES in my life (on console at least), we will see.

    Re. ‘churn’, I’ve done a full comment word-search out of interest and you did indeed first use ‘churn’ in the context of PES2018, but we’ve been describing nuPES gameplay as ‘churning’ (never just ‘churn’, though, interestingly) since PES2016, when it looks like Paul or werd were the first to describe it thus. When I get back to a keyboard I’ll dig out some links.

  5. Shed – Bah! My moment of Chronicles glory dashed.

    I must say the tactical functions of PES 2018 do work well. You really do notice the difference between high attack and defensive settings.

    I’ve always tended to set up defensively away from home – especially against the big guns – and rarely venture up above halfway on the little attack/defence dibbers unless I’m really chasing a game.

    I’ve also got fluid formation set up so my team goes even more compact when out of possession. This also seems to work in those tricky away games.

  6. The patch has forced me to change the way I play, I’ve been on SS for six seasons now, getting a “stronger” team in OVR sense for a couple of seasons, too. TS has been 99 for 12-18 months, also. Yet I began to lose my way.

    I’ve changed to a 343 that becomes a 3412 when decending. GK CB CB CB LM CM CM RM CF CF CF >to> GK CB CB CB LM DM CM RM AM CF CF. I have my two CFs virtually on top of each other dead centre as they like to stray wide when I attack; this has seemed to combat that somewhat. Not scoring as many headers post-patch.

    I think momentum may exist; the longer I go without winning the harder I find it to end that run.

    I’ll say it now: I don’t believe I will win the treble on SS this year. (Caveat, if I do it’ll be with the strongest team I’ve ever had to put together).

  7. Shed – in posts, the first occurrence of churn/churning, in the context that we now mean it, was by me in my PES2012 1st Impressions post of 14th October 2011. The next occurrence after that is in the year of PES2016. There are sporadic usages here and there until we get to PES2018, where, if this was a linguistics blog, I’d now have a graph here showing the ‘churn/churning’ usage shooting vertically upward. How did this come about? Let us take a look at the archaeological record.

    In comments, ‘churn’ or ‘churning’ has been used 74 times in total. The very earliest usage by a commenter in this sense was arguably by yourself. Almost a year ago. On 6th December 2016, on a post entitled This Night Has Opened My Reyes, you remarked

    I’ll be picking up my ML again tonight for what is now turning into a weekly session for various reasons. I should have a little more time over Christmas but, as much as a like [sic] the gameplay this year, I am getting to that point where the churn of what remains a bland ML mode starts to feel a bit flat.

    But this usage relates to ML as a mode in general, rather than specifically to gameplay (although it arguably does relate to the whole package, the match-to-match grind etc.).

    After that there are a few uses of ‘churning’ in relation to the revolving door transfer market of nuPES, i.e. that awful setup whereby you can pretty much equip yourself with a new squad every season if you feel like it.

    The next usage of churn in the gameplay sense comes from abbeyhill on 5th January 2017, in a huge comment on What is my most favourite day of the year?, where he tells us about his ML progress in considerable detail, that includes this nugget:

    As soon as we kicked off I smelt trouble. Thankfully not one of those hyper zero fouls churning possession games, but my players seemed nervous, with wayward passes belying our 96 team spirit forged over five tough seasons

    This is the start of a sequence of apparently churn-obsessed ravings from abbeyhill, in that post and subsequent posts over the following weeks. Some highlights:

    It is when one signs a load of superstars that the gameplay degenerates into a churning mess with no individuality and the AI focused, as you point out, on running/sliding straight at your guys.

    there can be some brilliant passages of play but sometimes the game seems to flick a switch which means we go into churning no-foul rapid turnover mode.

    well I was reading it as suggesting Jupiter was a planet of pretty colours and surface froth, composed mostly of gases in fast, frantic churning motion, just like online gaming.

    Calm down there, abbeyhill!

    Coming to the present day, the first mention of ‘churn’ in a PES2018 context was indeed from Shed. On 12th September 2017 he opined in my PES2018 1st Impressions post that

    Given that I’ve bemoaned the lack of new ML features for so long now, I do feel slightly guilty for fearing this new Challenge Mode and the possibility that we won’t be able to do the usual multi-season churn with the same club.

    In my reply to that comment I stated

    remains to be seen exactly how it works, but the churn – best word for it – of the past few years of ML has given me an appetite for danger.

    and I think from then on, ‘churn’ became part of the nomenclature of nuPES.

    As for that ‘appetite for danger’… Perhaps I thought an Edwardian lady might accidentally read the blog one day and be impressed.

  8. NG – Very informative post re: “The Churn”

    I wonder what your search would bring up against the phrase “no fouls”…………

  9. Wow. That’s some detailed in depth blog analysis right there, NG. As an analyst, I’m impressed with the way you churned that out.

    On the subject of tampering the churn, by conservative use of the att/def levels,I have decided I will start my Premier league season on SS and adjust down to TP if need be.
    I play a 4-4-2 Counter-attack style, with short fast passes, 1-2’s and emphasis on getting behind the COM defense, so will be interesting to see how the lower mentality levels affect my fast paced counter attack style, or whether it impedes it by not getting players forward as quickly.
    The whole point of counter attack football is a quick transition of possession, and attack in as few passes as possible, with the lower att levels players might not get forward as quickly and support the attack as freely, will be interesting to try it out though.

    The plus point has got to be the fact that we have to think about tactics, play patient, and concentrate, this is the kind of game we wanted wasn’t it? the opposite of ‘The Churn’.

    WOuld be good if fluid formations included dynamic linking of the att/def levels too, so out of possession your team adopts a 5-4-1, compact with 2 DMF’s and an att/def level of 1/2 then when in possession this adapts to say a 4-3-3 with att/def level changing to a 4/5.

  10. Shed – looks like I can pretty much trademark ‘churn’, but I will license it back to you for a small fee

  11. Can you do that with any phrase we nominate? How about the worst offender for ‘organic’, ‘fluid’, ‘responsive’ and the like. Or the blog’s keenest swearer? What about the longest word used in a comment? We could have a blog of the blog with graphs, pie charts and annual performance appraisals!

    And just in case you think I’d not seen it – I was out most of today so didn’t want to post on an already archived thread. A cricket captain is so much more than a captain in most sports. I’d not put them in the quarterback category as they’re not active in every play but they certainly set the play up – think grass based chess where someone arranges the pieces on the board for two others to play from (or even themselves and one other). A football captain does virtually nothing except mouth off a bit, an equivalent role would see them position players from the corners, deciding who should run where, what type of pass everyone should attempt – basically what the manager does. A cricket manager tends to sort the hotel out. Of course the ultimate reference is mike brearley’s the art of captaincy, even if you hate the game it’s a classic work.

    Personally, I think I favour American football even more for its tactical nous. Listening to erudite former players like those on the BBC is fascinating, I’d never seen the things that they describe.

  12. Archived. That’s where cricket talk belongs.

  13. First recorded use of ‘organic’ in a comment was by #1, on 18th October 2008, on The end ISS nigh?

    Exactly the same for me now. yes fifa plays more smoothly and organically and when going back and forth between the game really is strange because pes feels stiff. but play a few more games and it feels better to me.

    ‘Fluid’ has been used 259 times in comments. First recorded use of ‘fluid’ – Paul, on 20th October 2008 (spookily close to ‘organic’), in PES and the F-word:

    If I hadnt ever played any of the other PES titles, I would think PES 09 is a magnificent game, great shiny new HD graphics, nice ball motion, fluid gameplay, lots of game play modes… top notch stuff…

    ‘Responsive’ has been used 210 times. First use by a certain Neil Dickinson (possibly the same as latter-day, technophobic Neil, possibly not), back on 6th April 2009, in The Boy With A Thorne In His Ultimate Team Side:

    I also can’t imaging PES 10 being as good as FIFA10 in terms of variety of options and content, however i do at least expect it to play a decent game of football with fluid game play. If find the current PES09 not as responsive and as a result i tend tend to play it as often.

    Bonus points for ‘fluid’ and ‘responsive’ in the same sentence in one comment, there.

    I wasn’t surprised to find that the very first usage of ‘cunt’ was by a commenter named Paul, who might not have been latter-day Paul – this was a Paul who sometimes called himself Paww. Anyway, he dropped the very first c-bomb on a post called “Header Too” all the way back on 22nd February 2008.

    I heard that ‘header too’ thing and thought I was mis-hearing it.

    Goes to show maybe I wasn’t losing it after all, makes no sense what-so-ever.

    Annoyingly for me it almost always says when I head it miles wide of the net! (what a cunt)

  14. NG: nice post, nice title and amazing analysis of the past comments. Such dedication shows that you really care for you blog, KUDOS to you.

    Also, it seems that you are enjoying your PES 2018 much more than I am enjoying my PES 2013.

  15. Superb! I love stuff like this, it’s the sort of thing that I could happily sit with on Christmas morning, like the Guinness book of records or one of those infographic books. Id never buy one but as a diversion they’re perfect.

    I would have suggested Paul for the sweary gong, and instinct says Darryl as runner up but I think that’s misguided, for all dazzler may be unimpressed by many aspects of the world I’m not sure he turns the rage to four letter words. I reckon Werd must have come out with some only connect type wordage in the past, probably describing some fantasy world of his.

    Who has the most posts? Who are the one cap wonders? And was that use of ‘kudos’ by js Hutt an attempt to establish usage for a future analysis. In which case my most sincere contrafibularities…

  16. The best use of a swear word I have heard in recent times was when B-Man called Vital a cunt rag in the Footy United podcast last year. Havent laughed so much in ages.

  17. Flanged nipple nuts
    (on an invoice at work yesterday)

  18. I was the originator of the “organic” term? Such a hollow phrase. Shame on myself.
    Also, I’ve been commenting for more than 9 years now on the chronicles? Good lord. Time flies…

  19. please check out ‘vicissitudes’ not-Greg, I am certain nobody else has ever used it

    Inspired by JS Hutt and Orlando Jubalani I had a rummage around in my old games box and emerged with PES 2011 3DS. Kicked off a ML just for the hell of it, for some reason the defaults are not there so I chose WE United in D2. Gameplay is of course terrific, full of old skool PES values and a notable absence of churn(TM), although lack of a R2 is a drawback. Won the first game 1-0 against Porto with a cracking half volley from outside the box by Alnenda after his strike partner Jaromoton had headed down a long ball

  20. abbeyhill: do you have any tips for a classic PES noob? As Stone Cold Steve Austin used to say, the game “just whipped my ass”. And several times I must say…

  21. JS Hutt – assuming that 2013 3DS is similar to 2011, one useful tip is that the 90 degree turn in the box is rather overpowered, this was introduced in PES6 on PS2 and persisted for a while afterwards. Just run towards the goal line on the edge of the box and then suddenly cut inside and shoot across the keeper into the far corner. Or move diagonally in the box then shift up or down to the other diagonal to wrong foot the defence. Dribbling and controlling the ball is more difficult than in current PES but to compensate the 1-2 and shot feint are more effective. First time shots from outside the box fly in more often than you might expect. Defending can be tricky without R2 but you should focus on keeping your defender goal side of the attacker and nipping in by holding B at the right moment

  22. Got to get smith out early today, or leave him short of partners. Australia have always had an annoyingly nuggety tail – remember Ian bloody Healy and his habit of scoring 70 odd when we thought we’d got them on the way out – but I think they look quite lightweight at the moment and they’re very inexperienced. Real absence of star power about them too – no one like merv hughes (who I said hello to when he was buying a hot dog from one of the public stands at durham a few years back). Never been or even fancied going to Australia, just not one of the places that appeals. Like India. Or Pakistan. Or South Africa. Tried and failed to get to Sri Lanka. I’ve been to Jamaica and could see myself following a tour there and I see the attraction of New Zealand if anyone ever fancies it? What say you to a barmy army trip Paul?

    I’ve got the tranquilliser rifle now, I’ve fultoned 200 odd soldiers so as soon as it was unlocked it was full and levelled up. It’s not exactly a game changer as they home in on your single shot immediately, maybe if it was silent like the one in far cry. Not met that sniper though. About to start mission 8.

  23. abbeyhill – you are indeed the only person ever to use ‘vicissitudes’, your first recorded usage being on this post (4th comment from bottom).

    Uncle Turf – it’s the silenced tranquilliser sniper rifle that I’ve been dangling in front of you for the past week. I’m pretty sure I said ‘silenced’ a week or so ago when I first mentioned it, but if I didn’t I meant to. As you say, the non-silenced version is pretty much useless practically speaking. From what I remember the silenced one came pretty late on. By the time you get it it’s not a total game-changer, but it does give other options. Thinning the herd before entry, that sort of thing.

  24. Can anyone recommend a good laptop for me and the wife to buy this weekend? Our requirements are: she’s a teacher and I’ll watch things online. So office and good security, along with being fast are our only requirements. Budget is £500 tops but don’t wanna spend more then necessary.

    Appreciate any advice as I know squid all. We both like and are used to windows; probably another must for her school work.

  25. not-Greg – enjoyed reading your post from 2009, where you bemoan the arcade action direction the series had taken and call for a return to traditional PES values. That Alan Brazil in the comments has a familiar air to him too

    Jay – pretty much any laptop should be able to meet your requirements as a bare minimum these days. A cursory check of the john lewis website suggests this one at £400 for example

    it has an SSD so should be reasonably fast. Might be better options out there though if you do a more in depth search

  26. NG – ah, must have missed that, I thought I’d got it so much earlier than indicated. The AI making the soldiers focus on the last gun shot does make long range action easier – simply run to a new location. There’s a definite skyrim about my behaviour though, levelling everything up as much as possible before even considering stepping into something dangerous. I only just twigged that you get more pounds for faster completion times as well so have been charging into kill commander missions.

    Losing those two wickets is going to make things tough. Cook looks well out of touch.

  27. Close game at the GABBA. I think a 300 lead is required but England will do well to get 200.

    I scored a free kick yesterday, first time in blooming ages. The trophy awarded suggests it was over 35 yards too. I tried to record it but messed it up a bit, I’ll post the remnants of the video later. On my day off I mostly played Cities Skylines though. 3 hours sorting a one way system (if you thought cricket was boring, welcome to dullsville) suggests I’m getting bored of my current ML.

    I recently bought a new gaming laptop for £700 (Lenovo Y520), it’s capable for now although not very future proofed but it’ll do for Pes2018 if a gameplay patch becomes available.

  28. Jay – Before you buy spend a little while looking at Libre Office. It’s an open source Office equivalent that means you could divert more funds into the actual laptop. Having said that your wife may get Office at an educational discount, or you may be able to get your hands on an ‘unpaid’ version.

  29. Jay – something like the laptop abbeyhill linked to will be bang-on for your requirements. 8GB RAM would always be preferable but for that price and what you’ll be doing with it, 4GB is more than adequate. The key nowadays is to avoid old-school Hard Drives (a fast-spinning disc with an arm that reads/writes to it) and make sure you get a machine with an SSD (Solid State Drive with no moving parts). The SSD makes that laptop £400, so you coud go old-school HDD and spend about £250-300 for the same specs, but the durability and speed of SSD is worth it.

  30. At NG, Neil & Neil Dickinson are very much the same person. The first person to use Responsive on this blog has made my very proud, probably something of a buzz word back in the day. I’ve never considered myself a technophobe though, I’m web designer by trade, and like shiny new tech things. I just enjoy reading the blog and discussions afterwards.

  31. Neil – ah I have confused you with another occasional commenter, Mike, who certainly is technophobic.

    ‘Responsive’ is a permanent fixture in the football gaming buzzword lexicon. Just like ‘tightness’ and ‘organic’ and ‘fluid’/’free’, nobody ever defines exactly what they mean by it, but just assumes everybody knows and agrees they’re automatically good.

  32. What about “arcade” and “simulation”? The eternal conflict between Fifa and Pes.

  33. JS Hutt – there’s more agreement on what they mean, with everyone having given some thought to what ‘arcade’ and ‘simulation’ means to them, and awareness that they might mean different things to others. Responsiveness and tightness, though – I’d bet there’s no two set definitions of these anywhere in PESdom, but they do keep being trotted out again and again as self-contained value judgements.

    E.g. for commenter Paul, ‘tightness’ in football gaming is about the players holding their positions well and operating as proper football players. But that’s not what it means on the forums. Judging from context, ‘tightness’ in the PES forums relates to the speed and smoothness of animations, and is thus closely related to ‘responsiveness’. (Or does tightness mean the crispness and ‘zip’ of passing the ball about? Nobody ever says, so nobody knows.)

    ‘Organic’, of course, is the big one when it comes to empty PES buzzwords that are never concretely defined, have no agreed meaning, and therefore mean nothing. ‘Organic’ seems to be a general, vague stand-in for ‘things I like’.

  34. Here’s the free kick I scored. The rarity of fouls along with my skill level make this an annual event. Such a nice surprise.

  35. Boy, am I glad to finally have time to check back in here. It’s been a crazy, crazy few months. In addition to a hectic work schedule, and also the death of my PS4, my PC decided to fry the crap out of itself during whatever the hell that last storm to hit the UK was (note to self: never forget to buy surge-protective adapters in future). Luckily, it was only the motherboard and relatively easy to fix, but it set me back weeks in terms of my PES 18 journey. But I’ve been slowly catching up.

    My Scunthorpe side are still stuck in the doldrums of obscurity, i.e. the Championship, and as we enter our third season this weekend, it looks like maybe we’re getting together a side to challenge for at least the playoffs.

    Towards the end of the second season, the legendary Coutinho had one of those throbbing things (he really should look about that) and went to 79 ovr, with an 82 header and 79 finishing, but Spurs came in with an offer I just couldn’t refuse: 9.5 million after negotiations, which funded the arrival of Zivkovic, a talented 24-year-old with good all-round stats. The new arrival could do little to stop the slide in the final six games, as we went from a respectable 11th to a dire 17th following six losses on the bounce. (Boy, the AI in this game sure is ruthless after scoring the 1st goal).

    Reading the latest blog post reminded me of my own negotiation troubles; that is to say, handsome transfer budget, but unable to make signings due to salary funds being short-changed. Why, Konami, why cannot we allocate between the two accordingly? Smh.

    E. Canning (E.Canning?!) got the General team role and that’s helped boost the team spirit going into the first few games of season three. Only one signing, though, a kid by the name of Faria. SS by trade, but can slot into AMF in a pinch. Good finishing stats, but cursed with Shimizu’s body balance.

    I just finished the first game five minutes ago. A scrappy 1-0 against Sunderland, Faria coming off the bench and nicking a dream debut goal in the 83rd minute. But despite all that, it really is a struggle. Every time I get into a scoring position, there’s someone there to block. Every time I fake shoot in a scoring position, it gets blocked by someone else. Goals are like hens’ teeth.

    And I’m loving it.

  36. Cook, nice goal. I’ve had a few free kicks around the 18yard box, but haven’t scored yet, I hit the bar once, but that’s as closest I’ve been.

  37. Cook – nice strip. Forgive ignorance but what team are you playing as?

  38. Thanks Neil, I don’t often score direct from free kicks hence my giddy excitement.

    Werd – I’m playing as edited in Swindon. That’s my new away kit. I had to change from a green kit as it was a bit camouflage,so as a result I went with neon trim to stand out a bit. I designed the kit using the PES Master kit design tool.

  39. Cook-some of the ligue 2 strips are lush. I would have picked Tours if it wasn’t for McDonald’s sponsoring their shorts.

  40. Turf – you are correct in saying I am not a big swearer as I find it quite unnecessary. I won’t say I don’t swear on here and may have used the F word on the odd occasion but that is it. Now if I was commenting on England’s rather lacklustre start to the cricket that may be another thing. Not played anything for a week now. My gaming days of old seem to mirror drinking. I used to like going out in my youth but now just have the odd drop of Whisky at home and that is about it.

  41. Darryl – I won’t ask what happened to Red Dead Redemption, as I know what happened. It’s very hard to stay in touch with a game like that from day to day, and after a break of a few days, it’s easier just to let the thing slide. That keeps happening to me with all kinds of games. This is why football games are uniquely positioned to mesh well with middle-aged busy lives. No maps. No quests. No story to remember. No new control schemes to learn. An hour here, two hours there. Leave it a few days, a week, and it can be picked up again without fuss.

    Dan – I had no expectation of hearing from you again before PES2024, judging by your Haley’s Comet-like periodicity (you popped up for PES2012 release and vanished until PES2018 release).

    Cook – lovely free kick. I’ve actually had a few similar chances since the Patch, and once or twice managed to place the shot just where yours goes, but the keeper has always got across to it.

  42. NG – something along those lines. A combination of being busy at work and not playing for a few days and it did just slide away. Also I found the same issue as when I played the first time that by the time you get to the end of the Mexico part things start getting very repetitive. As for gaming I feel in a good place as I have no expectations any more, that I should finish games, need to get so many seasons under my belt or anything really.

  43. Saw ashes cricket today (the game, not that feeble nonsense down under) and it seems like bradman with a topical skin. Mixed reviews as well. I’ll be keeping my cash.

    I tried to play the zombie version after completing RDR but couldn’t get away with more of the same. I’m not into the whole undead stuff either, whether it be film, game or running through a forest in make up. Like far cry, just cause, GTA etc after a while it’s all so much of a similar soup. Unlike skyrim of course which has vastly different ‘take a to b to get c’…maybe I just like swords…

    If England start the next test badly this will be a 5-0 whacking and will indeed end careers. Some very odd decisions. It shouldn’t all come down to arguing that Ali’s foot was on the whitewash.

  44. Btw I encountered quiet last night. After reading a review I’d been anticipating the author’s ’45 minute game of cat and mouse’. Instead, I hid, saw and shot five times. Cue end of mission inside 7 minutes. Don’t know if it’s because all my side opping has raised my weaponry but it was the least tricky fight so far.

  45. Turf – don’t get me started on the decision making. The Anderson situation and Broad’s interview was bizarre. Says a lot about the modern cricketer. Could you imagine taking the ball out of Botham or Flintoff’s hands in the Ashes when they have bowled three overs and just took a wicket. As for the 40 over critical mark nonsense, what garbage. When I go to work on Monday I will stop working at the 5 hour mark and see what management think of that. Jimmy is a legend but I blame him just as much as anyone. I agree I think it will be 5-0.

  46. Turf – wow, you must be ace at videogames, it took me the full 45 minutes and a couple of deaths! Did you like the cut-scenes afterwards?

    Just spent the entire weekend playing PES2011 3DS

  47. Awesome goal and nice seen all the progress.

    Tomorrow I will cancel my TV & internet and also I hopefully will sell my xbox one. Only two weeks for my return to the old continent!!!

    That means no PES2015 (xbox) or PES2016 (pc, needs online) for me. Only PES2013 on the 3DS. And NG, you would love it. Since in my ML I am doing horrible, I played a couple friendlies with Real Madrid using the same settings. I know I am a bad player, but it is all about the players you have. You really feel the individuality when Ronaldo or Di Maria have the ball. Game is way easier with better players. Either that or ML is harder than exhibition games.

    But I have to say that at least for me, RDR is one of the best games ever made. The story is superb if you follow it.

  48. Uncle Turf – are you sure you’re on about the Quiet battle (in a mile-square arena filled with ruins and a tower)? I think there’s a shorter one beforehand. Regardless, one of the traditional elements of Metal Gear boss battles is that you can unexpectedly breeze through them. I find this one hard to believe though as it takes a few goes to work out that you can’t just hide and shoot.

  49. I don’t know if there’s another one but I was doing a side op and came to some ruin, it suddenly cut to a ‘sniper, boss’ scene and I was ushered into a hide and seek around some crumbled churches or houses or whatever. She was easy to spot as the lense flared so all I did was use the binoculars, marked her and then used my tranquilliser sniper rifle. And I really could just hide and shoot – I moved to a new hiding place immediately after I hit her. Maybe it’s because I had the better rifle earlier than most because of all the side opping and Fultoning? I’m certainly not good at games, I tend to just run hell for leather in this one when it hits the fan but my bullets could reach her right across the ruin. The post capture scene was plane, hostility from my colleagues and magic tricks, is that right? Now she’s in a cell but it suggested a future issue.

    I had read you can kill her in a minute by dropping supplies on her twice. Again marking her is the key.

  50. Just watched the vid, yes that’s the one and you’re moving even more than I did after each shot. She didn’t take up some of the positions you had to contend with – no side of the mountain etc – it was just top of a building, on an arch, all quite exposed. You can afford to take one hit, like the shotgun, so I wasn’t worried about meerkatting up to get a good look when the white arc came up.

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