No place like Guillaume

Last year around this time, in PES2017, I picked up a young striker who became quite a character in the otherwise rather bland individual landscape of that game. F FRIDAY was his name – and no, I haven’t bought him again this year in PES2018 (yet). I have, though, stumbled across another big and relatively young CF whom I have taken rather a shine to.

B GUILLAUME is his name. That’s pronounced, it seems, Gee-yome, with roughly equal stress on both syllables, and a hard G at the start. It’s a surname that unfailingly reminds me of a traumatic childhood event when my favourite character left the sitcom Soap. The Tates’ butler Benson left for his own spin-off show, and I was too young to understand or accept it. If you know what the hell I’m talking about here, I’ll be impressed.

I’ve cleared a load of players out, and brought in a few including a youth GK to serve as understudy to Krul, who continues to be great between the sticks. I’ve had quite a few nil-nils since Krul’s arrival that would have been defeats beforehand.

I’ve abandoned my 4-3-3 and reverted to my favoured formation of the past few years, the 4-2-2-2 with two DMFs and two wide-ish AMFs. AUGUSTIN (that old Youth stalwart) arrived as backup GK after this screenshot was taken.

Arcas and Casteledine, alas, are nothing like their glorious 2016 incarnations. They’ll be moved on in a season or so when the time is right.

Here’s a goal scored by Guillaume on his debut. I like how the ball squirms into his path, and of course the half-volley is sublime. Best goal of my PES2018 progress so far:

Tacked onto the end of the goal footage is a replay of a shooting-range free kick I had in the same match. As it turns out, I blasted the kick over – though not by much. I tacked it on there to show the new BaL-style camera view, where it lingers for the few seconds it takes the shot to travel.

Maybe one day I’ll get to see the ball go into the net. At the rate these shooting-range free kicks are coming along for me – 2 in around 35 ML matches so far – I might be waiting a while.

No-fouls continues to disgust me. The word ‘disgust’ is not hyperbole, here. I really mean it. It really is actual disgust.

To see a distinguished, venerable series like Pro Evolution Soccer comprehensively and, it seems, permanently dragged down into the mud, all in the name of online ‘flow’ – what’s not to be disgusted about?

The bottom line is that PES2018 will have to stand without one of the most important supporting buttresses that a serious football game needs: a proper rules-based framework that restricts the kind of play both sides can get away with. In the anything-goes environment of no-fouls, button-mashing trance-states soon become the norm.

I thought PES2016 and PES2017 were as poor as the situation would get. I was wrong. Wow, was I wrong. I used to get ‘butt-hurt’, as they say on the Internet, if one solitary match in PES2016-PES2017 would end with zero fouls. One. Hah! Little did I know that they would come to seem like the good old days. In PES2018, entire sessions of 4-5 matches can pass without a single AI foul. This is a whole new level of outrageous.

What’s done is done. There might be a patch, there might not be a patch. It might fix things, it might not fix things. One thing is certain. They won’t ever do anything to upset the online players. This is a fact. So any fouls ‘fix’ that is truly meaningful will have to be optional on a per-game basis, much like weather and time-of-day settings. Which sounds like the kind of feature that gets rolled over to the next iteration in a series – or quietly forgotten. We’ll see.

Regular and irregular readers alike might be pleased to hear that I don’t plan to go all Chief Inspector Dreyfus on the fouls question. I’ve had my say in comments over the weekend on the previous post, and again here today. I’m focusing on the playing now.

Updated: 3rd October 2017 — 11:53


  1. Stemmed the slump in form with a couple of wins last night. Crossing is still overpowered this year. Haven’t got the stats to hand but 80% of my goals come from crosses. But am in a happyish place with the game right now.

  2. Darryl – getting deja vu from PES2017 here, but again I don’t find crosses at all powerful, never mind the overpowered kind of powerful. Most of my goals currently are, I am ashamed to say, ‘Uncle Turf’-style team goals. What’s this year’s crossing secret? Early press, late press, delivering the cross with L1?

  3. The update this morning was purely face updates, boots and removing Neymar from the Barcelona Title screen, absolutely nothing else.
    As NG said, if they’d in any way tweaked any of the big issues right now such as foul count, cursor switching etc then Adam would be spewing it all over social media about how amazing the team are as they’ve listened to user feedback and have acted to bring us an update etc, any changes you see is purely the ‘session to session swing’ of how a PES game feels, which has been around since day x.

    Welcome NG – Im considering adding a ‘kit builder’ section to PESFX whereby you can download a base kit and also individual Photoshop layers with differing graphics on to make your own custom kit with very minimal Photoshop knowledge, as easy as dragging a layer into an existing kit file.

  4. NG – Are you find that most headers are feeble ‘loops’ into the Keepers hands?
    Me too, until I sussed it, this year, pressing the shoot/header button later, and holding it down for more power is the key.

    Have scored a few bullet headers recently using this technique.

  5. Replied to your player individuality question on the previous page btw, N-G.

  6. Unpopular opinion but I hate Arcas and I only see him as a way to fund my first transfer window. He just reeks of Torres at Chelsea to me. Misses everything

  7. (Splutter)….you’re what? “Ashamed”?! How dare you sir, the team goal is a work of beauty and not something simply utilised as I’m not very good at long rangers….

    One sympathises with mr wenger.

  8. Turf – Im with you all the way mate.
    I’ll happily watch goal videos of 20+ passes and a simple slotted finish all day every day over the 25+ yard shots and 193645,923 skill moves en route to a triple sombrero-flick overhead penny farthing scorpion kick finish.

  9. Paul – have got for a video of one of those goals you just described? Sounds fascinating!

    NG – I’m finding L1 + O crosses are very effective upto and including Top Player. On Superstar they’re not as effective/or I haven’t got good enough crossers or headers of the ball yet. The low drilled cross (double/triple tap O) is also effective if you can get to the very end of the pitch and drill it diagonally back towards penalty spot.

  10. Jay – just youtube FIFA goal video, literally every result will be one like that mentioned.

  11. ‘A single 25-yard netbuster is worth a thousand tippy-tappy arthouse bullshit goals.’ – Bobby Charlton (‘Don’t bother looking it up – it’s a real quote.’ – Abraham Lincoln).

  12. I can appreciate a tippy-tappy, passy-passy goal but I’m with n-G, nothing beats a great big BOOOOF of a netbuster. Add an in-off-the-bar aspect and that’s a real footy money shot right there.

    In this PES and PES 2017, 16 too I think, I’ve rather enjoyed mixing up some passy-passy stuff with a good ol’ blooter up to a big CF (I search for the monsters specifically now) and then, rather than try anything fancy, I have him nod it down and back to an advancing player to have a thwack at. It produces some lovely long-range efforts.

    I’m also getting a lot of joy from crossing but then I’ve always been big on crosses in PES (not in a religious way of course). The same big CF is rather handy for this too of course although the low cross is just as effective if not more so. I have my fullbacks set to bomb up the wings to put crosses in and my front three tuck in to try and get on the end of them.

    I see FIFA 18 got its first patch today as well as PES getting a file-full of tatts and faces. It’ll be interesting to see if EA speed their game up again.

  13. Shed – it was a distressing moment for me watching last Saturday’s MOTD when the Everton-Burnley match mysteriously started to focus on Burnley passing the ball about. After about 10 passes, I genuinely experienced a peculiar despair, knowing that I was watching a ‘team goal’ in progress, and would have to endure much disproportionate gushing about it, both at the time from the match commentator, and then in the studio afterward.

  14. NG/Shed – We all enjoy a long ranger but for me, a 20+ pass goal with players all making intelligent runs, working space, and each player involved putting in precise passes and finishing with a nice finish, is worth 100 long ranger where 90% of the time the payer just puts laces through it and hopes for the best, one takes several players putting into practise the skills they train every day, the other is pretty much just left to chance and luck.

    FIFA 18 is fast already! compared to PES, when I play it I’ll notch it down to ‘slow’ under game speed.

  15. n-G – Yes, I saw that and then felt a bit better when on replying the goal for the pundits to gabble on about, it was said there wasn’t time to show the whole move. You don’t have that issue with a friker from far out.

  16. and from the official Konami account, the full details of the DP today are as follows:

    Over 3000 new Player selection thumbnail images
    Ok I guess, nice to see the players image on team selection screen

    10 New Boots
    Who cares, you cannot see boots during game play anyway, if you switch to a replay and zoom right in you can but why!?!?

    Revised Title Screen
    So Neymar is no longer in Barcelona kit, The only time I have ever seen the title screen was when I first booted the game up, the rest of the time the PS4 is in Rest Mode so i can just press the controller button and resume playing right from within PES

    117 player face updates
    Again, cant see the face during game play anyway, usually skip replays so a bit pointless

    New Barcelona backboards in ML
    If you choose to play as one of the most already powerful complete teams in the world for your ML then i guess, great, for the thousands of us who dont play as Barcelona, pointless

  17. NG – Same as last year really. Early cross and then press the shoot/header button early. As Jay stated the low cross is very effective this year.

  18. ah Konami…you couldn’t make this shit up if you tried. So I went to check out the update, new faces OK, some in the eredivisie so nice but whatever. mostly stuff I don’t care about. In “return” they’ve managed to introduce very annoying micro-stutter on the PC version, which renders the game unplayable for me. Starting to regret the PC decision but oh well, I was hardly playing anyway.
    Bonkers, amateur hour.

  19. Not sure if anyone else has noticed this, but in ML it regularly states the wrong club when you sell a player. It’s happened a few times. As seen in the screenshot below, I’m Forest and I’ve sold this player to Bolton. I bought him originally from Alkmaar. Nothing at all to do with Nice.

  20. With Six games to go one point separates the top four in the pas league. I am fourth.

    I think you could find examples of konami hopelessness throughout the series. Take 2015 for example and it’s ‘negotiation days’ – completely meaningless calendar events that have no bearing on your ability to initiate transfer dealings. And yet they allow bosmans to move immediately despite them having contracts still to run. As Paul said a short while ago, it seems like they just don’t know enough about football.

  21. I didn’t realise there was a patch as well as a data pack release for PES 2018 until I fired the game up last night.

    I didn’t notice any change to fouls in the few games I played but I did notice one thing that I’m sure isn’t placebo; the secondary press in defence as gone back to how it was in PES 2017.

    Before I noticed that if I pressed square while controlling a CB, my mother CB would step up pulling my back four out of shape. Now it’s back to how it was in PES 2017 and a DMF is far more likely to be selected to apply pressure to an attacker. I’m not imaging this am I?

    Otherwise, I rather appreciated the new player faces in the formation screen. It’s nice to put faces to a couple of names in my ML side.

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