No danger I’m a stranger to a PES2017 long-ranger

No time for any real kind of text-based post today. I’m in the midst of a logistic re-jig of my living arrangements and there are bits of computers and consoles scattered everywhere.

I have played one short, solitary session of PES2017 since Tuesday. It yielded yet another in a surprisingly long line of PES2017 long-rangers. Without checking, I believe this is the 6th or 7th true long-range goal I’ve scored in this game. Is there anyone out there who still hasn’t got one?

A first-time hit with the player’s wrong foot. Ziyech is a leftie. Hmmm. Not happy with that. But oh my days – the moment when the ball went in! You expect to see the ball fly past the stanchion, or be  batted away by the keeper. So it was astounding to see the ball ‘captured’ by the net. My entire PES-year of labour, repaid, right there.

My generally indifferent start to the season continues. The above goal was one half of a much-needed 2-0 win that’s lofted me to mid-table. I do believe I’ve got another few seasons left in me at Saint Etienne, and would like to get back in Ligue 1 contention even with this threadbare House Rules squad.

Quiet randomly during my domestic rearrangement, I played a match on the modded PC version of PES2013. This was the PESJP Patch that allows the player to adjust referee strictness and ball weight and the like. I played one match in Master League on Professional with a heavy ball, found it ludicrously tough just to complete a pass, and didn’t get a single shot on goal. I had Coynborough straight-red-carded for an innocuous double-X tackle that wouldn’t even have stopped play on PES2017.

No, I’m not about to flip-flop to PESJP PES2013 on PC. I just thought it was interesting. The PC platform might be Pro Evolution Soccer’s only real long-term hope of escaping the ghetto of online multiplayer.

Updated: 30th June 2017 — 10:59


  1. Didn’t everyone grow up learning all the World Cup hosts, winners, losing finalists, and golden boot winners? Just me then…

    For the record:
    1) Jan Tomashewski
    2) Gregor Lato
    3) Kazimierez Deyna

    I may misspelt any and all of those names BTW.

    I favourite E2V (I that a real thing?) story is that Kevin Beattie, who played Michael Caine’s legs, beat Stallone in an arm wrestling competition on set. Stallone refused to talk to him for the rest of the film.

  2. ‘E2V’ was my attempt to bring the film to a whole new youth audience, it’s GR8 kidz, lots of LOLZ n stuff…

    Can you imagine what a car crash the film would be now – the egos involved, the insistence on having their hair flawless and tattoos on display in a prisoner of war camp. Almost certainly Vinnie Jones would be in it as ‘the hard man’. Shudder.

  3. #1 – Van Wolfswinkel is da bomb for me on loan at the mo.

    Uncle Turf – he did offer to pay for Battistons dental work.

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