Trémendous Trémoulinas

Something has come up at the time of writing, so a very short post. I’ll be active in comments later on today and over the weekend as normal.

I’ve forged a path to the top of the table – still proudly unbeaten:

It’s interesting seeing Hull and Leicester up there with me. After real-life Leicester’s heroics last season, I’d imagine the game designers wanted to include the possibility of a lesser team having a golden season in PES2017. It’s a simple enough thing to do with a line of code. Just insert a script that says something like ‘let there be a 5% chance that this season a lesser team will play like a top team’, and covertly bump that team’s players’ stats up accordingly.

There’s already so much scripting in any PES match that one more layer isn’t going to make much difference. And it would produce tables like the one above. And just look at Leicester’s goal-scoring.

I also made it through my  Champions League group after 4 straight wins. Still got two matches to play, but they’re dead rubbers.

This qualification, of course, means that I miss my last chance to try for the Europa League in PES2017.

And finally today (yes I said it’d be a short post), here are two goals.

The first is from Ibrahimovic, a lovely ‘reverse hook’ type of goal from the edge of the area into the opposite side of the net – one of my favourite types of football gaming goal. Long-time readers with exceptional memories may recall me loving these in one of the early PS3 FIFA games – FIFA09 I think.

The second goal is from my left-back – a cracking, crunching, thumping, screaming 25-yard volley from a cleared corner that threads the eyes of several needles on its way into the corner of the net.

These are also one of my favourite types of football game goals, but passingly rare in all editions. It secured me an unlikely draw against a stubborn Arsenal, and kept my still-unbeaten record intact.

Updated: 30th March 2017 — 12:04


  1. That Volley is an absolute screamer, GOTS worth i think!!

    wonder if you’ll do an invincible season??? I was dead on for it after 28 games unbeaten but ended up losing 3.

    After all the talk of FIFA 15, heres a little goal montage from that very game

  2. Some nice goals Paul. However the resolution of the video is shocking. It looks like animation using pastels. Is it a conversion issue?

    As the video has a USB trailer does that mean the resurrection of the site is imminent?

  3. Chriss – it was recorded using the PS4 share feature, 720HD, the video does have a filter on to ‘posterize’ it but im not sure if its degraded since being on Youtube but used to be flawless.

    as I mentioned Chris, i do plan to resurrect USB with a FIFA slant to it buit as wordpress is blocked here at work, id be unable to comment all day and post any new material, i dont get much time at home, so still thinking how best to approach it.

  4. You can still get 18 quid trade in at cex for pes2017. I’ll simply buy it back when it’s a pound for the full shelf look.

    Amused to see Maradona is suing konami. They should release a patch to change the name to druggie mccheatface.

  5. wonder if CEX realise its 8 quid on the PS store !!
    Suing Konami for what? use of his name? I thought image rights only applied if they use his face or any graphical depiction of his person for commercial gain???

    you cant trademark or copyright ‘diego maradona’ – theres probably hundreds of them all over the world.

  6. NG – one word. Boooom!!

    Picked up Fifa 15 for one whole pound in CEX. Will give it a whirl in the summer.

  7. Paul – there is something off about that FIFA15 compilation, looks cartoonish to me. I was looking at some of my own FIFA15 replays last night and they all look ‘normal’ so it must be this individual one.

    The volley is close to being GOTS for me, but my very first proper multi-touch running long-ranger in PES2017 (goal #2 there from Halilovic) is still just edging it.

    This blog is also blocked at my workplace, but I have my phone and usually an iPad with me at work to respond to anything urgently, or most often I just wait until I get home.

    Uncle Turf – The BBC story about the Maradona thing is littered with amusing inaccuracies. ‘PES has only been on consoles since 2003’ is a howler of the first order.

    The whole thing is a myLoadOfShiteClub-related issue anyway, which means it’s not even about Pro Evo. Sniff.

  8. Lloyd – you could easily ‘do a FIFA13’ with FIFA15. It is a good ‘un.

  9. NG – the video had some FinalCut Effects applied such as filters etc to make the colours ‘pop’

    it looks fine on my machine, just a bit posterized, which was the intention, something different from the glut of other fifa goal vids, it was nearly 3 years ago anyway.

  10. I watched it full screen on a 23″ monitor at work. Maybe that exaggerated it a bit?

  11. Ooo that fifa Montage is taking me back. Will definitely be giving that a go. Tried the fifa demo for 17 and It had that old “flimsy” fifa feeling to the players… Could also be that I am used to pes as players traditionally feel a bit heavier there. Though 15 seemed to have nailed that in my memory.. Thats it. I’m installing the game on PC tomorrow and having a test run. It might spell the end for pes 17 with some unfinished business there but so be it.

  12. Paul – it stutters and jerks on any machine I view it on, as well as looking cartoony. I think it’s the Steamboat Mickey of football game goal compilations.

  13. NG – the same thing happened in my last season (season 10) on PES 2017 as at the halfway point one of the lesser teams (think it was Watford or West Ham) jockeyed into position of being my rival as the big clubs got off to a bad start. They fell away at the end, which gave the a more comfortable route to the title.

  14. Having only played the three friendlies on 15 (buying players is taking hours) my remindered impression is it is much slower than these new fallutin games, much more reliant on team defending and maintaining shape than suicidal slide tackles and the player stats really do count – a big lump can definitely barge a nippy winger off the ball but will be left behind in a sprint. I’ve never found fifa’s off the ball/player receiving triggers as good as pes but there also feel fewer sweet spots and I’m likely to try much more as it doesn’t feel in that ‘only 1% of the 1% will go in from that range’.

    Not sure what they updated for 16 and 17?

  15. Day off work today with a dicky tummy (a phrase every middle-aged man is allowed to say without fear of reprisal) and taking the chance to do some more warmups for PES5.

    I’ve been mentioning these warmups for a while now but really and truly what I’m testing is whether I could have PES5 as my main near-daily football game again, and the answer is emphatically Yes.

    I realised one of the main differences between older footy games and the newer ones. All the newer ones without fail permit midfield ‘playground football’ to take place for far too long. This is where you have constant churning turnovers of possession, pinball-type passages of play, shoving and argy-bargy – and no whistle to stop it. PES5 awards a foul and stops the game at the first sight of that sort of thing. The farcical midfield keystone cops style periods never occur. It’s really quite startling to get to grips with, after many years now of ‘anything goes’ when it comes to putting in challenges.

  16. The little fella doesn’t like Fifa – he’s not a footy fan so doesn’t care it’s all sky’d and badged, he prefers his crash bang pes. As I’d traded 2017 I stuck 2015 on, then had a quick game myself as it was one I never got too far on (in fact I haven’t really settled with one since 2013).

    Remind me what was wrong with it – apart from a pretty thin ml management setting, an inability to edit various features and a truly childlike transfer system? The on pitch action seemed great – some real positive ball thumps, yellow cards, two semi-long rangers flying in from minandinho and myrheim and that man coynborough. I’m sure I didn’t manage to get beyond season four and changed clubs with one of those ridiculous 9-1 type efforts killing enthusiasm but is it worth a look see? The swan song of a legend…

  17. Uncle Turf – PES2015 is my favourite PS4 PES so far, which is a strange thing to say given that it also lacked fouls, as you’ll discover if you play on (but not to the absurd extent of PESes 2016 and 2017 where I can and often do get entire matches literally without a single foul on either side). Every football game since PES2013 has been pretty much a fouls-free zone by design*. Overlooking that sizeable turd in the punchbowl**, I gave PES2015 a review-style score of 9/10 in that year’s end-of-year review-style retrospective, and I stand by that. Great shooting in PES2015. I described it as being the PS4’s equivalent of the Xbox360 version of PES6. Like PES6(360), PES2015 was a bridging game between the PS3 and next-gen in so many ways. It had much more individuality than its two successors. Playing with Peter Crouch in PES2015 will always be an all-time PES memory for me***.

    *PES2014 not excepted. If it wasn’t for the happy accident of PES2014’s (in)famously ropey collision modelling yielding a goodly amount of ‘momentum fouls’ (that would never be given in reality), PES2014 would’ve been a fouls-lite game too for me.

    **Which I stopped doing as of PES2016. I docked a point from that game in my review-style roundup for the lack of fouls. Same will apply to PES2017, which I’m thinking of docking two points from (Konami, start quaking), the issue has become so massive. The lack of AI fouls in single-player gameplay is the most important gameplay issue in PES today, more important than everything else put together times a million.

    ***I think I will add footnotes to all my comments from now on.

  18. Yes, it seemed as if it played better than the two more recent titles because of the shooting. 2016 is by far the worst imho because of the slide hook, a ridiculous censure free manoeuvre. We shall see how it goes, Easter is very busy for me so likely not much time on anything.

  19. Turf – sell the kid, stick it on ebay, if he doesnt like FIFA hes ‘not a proper kid’ !!!!

    joking of course but isnt it mandatory fir all 15yr olds and under to love FIFA !?!?

  20. Uncle Turf – ah, the obnoxious PS4-era PES sliding tackle… arguably the most anti-football gameplay feature PES has ever implemented, even more so than no-fouls. It’s a ‘fun’ thing, of course, for multiplayer. In more PES5-is-coming news, the way I keep trying to do PES2016-style slide tackles on thin air to stop AI attacks in PES5 is quite amusing. It’s feasible we could be on PES5 this time next week. More likely end of next week/start of week after, though. An Easter miracle!

  21. PES 17’s COM slide tackles are ridiculous, every single tackle, from any angle or distance is a laser guided, clean, take of the ball, every single time.

  22. Paul – totally agree, and coupled with the deliberate calibration of low/no-fouls it makes the fast and furious (and ‘fun’) gameplay what it is, for better and worse. I’m sure they love it online, and it’s every current 15-year-old’s exact idea of what a fun online experience should be, but us greybeard single players have been shortchanged.

    PES2014 also featured these kinds of long-range, sliding tackles, interestingly, but the fouling environment was very different in that game and there was always a high % chance of committing a foul. In PES2015-16-17, that’s been altered so that an experienced player has such a low % chance of conceding a foul that it’s always worth sliding around ridiculously to win the ball back on every part of the pitch. The ultimate dick-move is to slide-tackle thin air, knowing that the range of the block is so great there’s a decent chance you’ll block a pass or catch a lucky break if the player turns into you. Bad. James (commenter James, the strategy guide guy) said he refrained from using slide tackles at all. Better of course if they’re just removed from the game.

  23. NG – I rarely ever used slide tackle in PES 17, mostly because it wasn’t necessary, you could as easily intercept the ball with the standing tackle, and there was far too high a chance that you’d get yellow carded and concede a foul for sliding, the poke in the eye with Konami’s shitty online stick comes when the COM slide tackles and no matter how ridiculous an attempt, always, always, always wins the ball and comes away with possession, cleanly every ….single….time!!

  24. Paul – I slide tackle indiscriminately, especially when I need the ball and can’t get it, but most of my matches end with 0-2 fouls conceded, which says it all about how expert you can get in them. I concede most of the few fouls I do concede with standing tackles. The fouling calibration is ludicrously weighted in favour of keeping the game flowing at all costs. Playing PES5 is a startling eye-opener to just how dumbed-down and degraded the quality of general football gameplay has become.

  25. NG, my point was that only the COM’s use of slide tackles is ridiculously biased and overpowered. if the COM even tries a slide tackle from distance, from directly behinbd the CF running at goal, it will somehow manage to take the ball cleanly, in real life, it would be a foul from behind, possibly a professional foul, and either red card or definitely a yellow.

    I had a quick match of PES 5 on y mac / Parallels VM setup over the weekend and although I couldn’t really get into it properly, the startling thing was how superior in every way the COM AI was even compared to todays ‘Actively intelligent’ com teams.
    Defense lines maintained shape, midfield’s ‘closed in’, forwards dropped back to gain possession, it was a world apart from PES 17.

    and of course in one 10 min match, there were more fouls given than half a season on todays PES.

  26. Paul – I find that my slide-tackling in PES is overpowered too. Some of the slides I get away with, ball and all, are embarrassing. It’s all in aid of promoting a melee-brawler-style, ‘fun’ atmosphere online, of course, as even a short session on old-school PES will show. In one of my tester PES5 matches recently I had 11 free kicks in a 10-minute match (I conceded 6; so there were 17 (SEVENTEEN) in all). It was gratifying, but I could have wept at the clear evidence of just what PES has sacrificed in the name of being commercial. (Just staying alive, they would say, and I’m not saying they’re completely wrong for doing that.)

  27. Yeah i get that, its a shame Konami dont have the foresight t include a referee strictness slider, it would be easily done, default at 0 for online morons, i mean players, and max of 5 which would be ultra strict, to appease offline gamers.

    of course it comes down to one single word that describes konami’s approach to PES, Lazy.

  28. Really looking forward to the PES5 revival n-G. Oh and nice to see Coventry lifting a trophy in real life yesterday. Of course we don’t actually get trophies in modern PES but it reminded me of your ML highs.

    I’m definitely winding down with PES 2017 now and contemplating a return to FIFA 16 or maybe picking up FIFA 15 if it’s any better. Do they still update FIFA 15 when you start anew? Am I right in saying that the game in its vanilla phase was rather good?

  29. Shed — FIFA15 is still actively updated, you’d be hit with all patches and DLC etc as soon as the disc was inserted into the PS4. Only way to stop it would be to remember to disconnect the PS4 from the Internet each time you play.

    Yesterday was a surprisingly big deal in the city of Coventry. I know a few people who went. It took me back 30 years to a day I remember as if it was also just yesterday. It also made me feel some of the anger at what has happened to the club that CCFC was in those days. I never talk about my hometown club on here. This is a football gaming blog, not a football blog (football gaming long ago superseded football, and remains the better version of the sport by a long way, as I always say). But I follow their results, know the players, watch all I can. Channel 5 have done a superb job of the lower divisions this season. Better than MOTD, which isn’t hard.

  30. n-G – Thanks. Mrs Shed kindly picked FIFA 15 up for me today for a quid. Worth the money just to see what I missed. I’ll skip the update and see how it played on release.

    I find myself checking on Coventry’s results because of the blog and despite your previously stated lack of any real interest in “real” footy these days. I too am no where near as avid a supporter as I was due to the cost really. Mini Shed and I attended our first match of the season on Saturday. Hard to believe Brighton are on the verge of the type of promotion glory I’ve only ever enjoyed as part of a PES ML.

  31. Shed — I’m old enough to remember Brighton in the top flight before — early 80s. Oxford too, Coventry’s opponents at Wembley yesterday. As for real-life football, I have very little time for it these days for reasons I’ve outlined so many times. I just cannot take seriously any sport where rules are set aside on the whim of the referee according to how ‘difficult’ it might be to enforce them. There was a clear Oxford penalty yesterday not given. Ditto a Man City penalty at the end of that match, which the ref obviously bottled rather than have several minutes of chaos surrounded by Arsenal players. When they introduce proper American Football-style refereeing, I might be interested again. Until that point, real-life football is an interpretive dramatic performance rather than a sporting contest.

  32. n-G – Totally agree but I still enjoy following real footy much as some people enjoy following a soap opera. EastEnders for example is clearly flawed and not what it once was but millions are still compelled to watch it, follow it and have a good moan about it. I don’t watch soaps but I do follow football.

  33. Shed – i last played Fifa in 2015 and when I stuck it back in the other day it said it was updating, downloading and using the latest squads. However when I checked out the data it was all as was back when I last played – collicini captaining Newcastle, burton Albion in div two, etc etc. I noticed no difference whatsoever.

    Paul – the boy is pretty much chronicle attitude-adjusted to ‘that there real world football’ already. He says he wants to go to a match but has no interest in watching it, doesn’t care remotely about the current crop of ‘superstars’ and only wants to interact with the round ball game via the console. Just waiting for him to start suggesting there should be no such thing as ‘common sense refereeing’ and the pinnacle of football gaming was a number of years before he was born.

    In a rare moment of actual effort I’ve shifted a ton of slate chips today – not a euphemism for a load but an actual ton as that’s what I ordered from the merchants for my front garden. Something deeply satisfying about knowing I’ve shovelled that weight, like drinking a gallon of ale or jumping over a six foot fence.

  34. Uncle Turf – Football would be a much better sporting contest without common-sense refereeing or fear-based refereeing. Rules make sport what it is. A sport whose rules are randomly set aside based on shifting extra-legal factors (who the home side is, who a certain team’s manager is, what the current score is, whether there’s already been ‘enough’ penalties in this match, etc. etc.) isn’t a sport at all.

    Yes, I know, score X amount of goals in a Pro Evo match and the game shuts up shop, typically, not allowing the scoreline to get out of hand. But I’ll take scripting and unwritten limitations in a computer game. Not in alleged reality.

    Shed – I still follow the meta-drama of football, but I can’t stand watching the matches. Seeing a ref wave play on because giving a straightforward decision would be ‘difficult’ really affects my mental health.

  35. Well, I stuck in my £1 FIFA 15 last night and… it didn’t work. Faulty disc.

    My thumbs primed for some FIFA I ended up playing FIFA 16 instead which I bought last year as a download but had since deleted to make space on the PS4. The result was a rather late and enjoyable night picking up my old Career Mode with Colchester United.

    The session reminded me of just how gloriously glossy FIFA is and how beautifully varied it can be. The shooting and the ‘keepers really are sublime. The passing and the approach play is still frustrating but that’s because of the old battle with PES muscle memory.

    Played a good few matches, scored a few but not many goals and feel rather compelled to fire it up again.

  36. Shed – FIFA has always been a solid football game since FIFA08 on the PS3 IMO. I can’t think of a turkey since – I disliked FIFA11, I recall, and FIFA14 on PS4 flattered to deceive IMO, but other than that, if there were no memory of PES we’d probably be crazy about FIFA. All my best FIFA periods over the past 10 years have come before the year’s PES game came out. FIFA12 and FIFA15 in particular. I have never settled on a FIFA after PES. Hence this year’s bold plan to change the formula.

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