PES Chronicles

For the first time since I started playing PES2009, I’m seriously challenging for the Division 1 Championship. I’m slightly disappointed that it’s taken me until season 2017 of this Master League career to get to this stage. I’m usually a bit quicker about it than this, historically speaking. But better late than never.

With one game left I was on top of the table, and thus in a position to determine my own fate. I was one point clear of the 2nd-placed team, AC Milan. The 3rd-placed team, Roma, were two points behind me. The critical thing about my situation was that my goal difference was appreciably worse than both of these sides. I had to win my last match to be sure of taking the title.

My opponents were AIK Athens. They’ve been my bogey team so far in this PES. It was Osasuna last year. PES games traditionally burden you with relatively obscure teams snapping at your heels even when your team is tricked out with the equivalent of 11 Maradonas.

So I was wary of the match and what it might do to me. I felt that I had to win it—that a draw wouldn’t be good enough. That’s the way PES works, with me at least. You have to do your bit.

But I was too cautious. I should have just played my own game, bogey team or no bogey team. Athens scored a ridiculous soft goal midway through the first half. It was one of those goals that gets deflected off your defender’s arse, and then bobbles across the virtual turf to take another deflection off your goalkeeper’s arse too (just for good measure, to really rub it in) before trickling into the net.

Thankfully I scored my equaliser almost straightaway. Otherwise the nerves would really have been jangling. I went in at half-time with the score 1-1. That’s when I decided to check the other matches’ results—something I almost never do except under circumstances like these.

I discovered that my match was the sole evening fixture. AC Milan and Roma had already played their matches. Milan had lost their match. Roma had drawn theirs. It didn’t matter what happened in the second half here. Coventry City were already the Division 1 champions.

Anti-climactic? A little, I confess. I would have preferred for the title finally to be won with a grandstand finish in the second half in this match against Athens. But a title is decided over a season made up of 38 matches. Not just 1.

In that second half I naturally played with a more relaxed outlook. It didn’t matter if Athens thrashed me 100-nil. I’d won the title. The match carried on at 1-1 despite me having the lion’s share of possession and chances—many of them solid gold chances that mysteriously failed to translate into goals (the same old PES2009 story).

Then, near the end, I got this odd little goal with Shaw. In the clip I’ve switched the camera view to track Shaw. He runs to receive the floated through-ball—and apparently breaks his leg to flick the ball into the net:

The clip’s poor quality. (Aren’t they all—I do keep meaning to pick up a high-quality camera, or even a DVD recorder, but so far I, er, haven’t.) You can just make out Shaw’s lower left leg suddenly jumping out at a right angle to his body. I’ve heard of similar glitches in PES2009 but this is the first one I’ve seen for myself.

Did I care that I’d scored what looked like the winning goal with a glitch? Did I hell. It didn’t matter anyway. It was just nice to beat my bogey team.

Or so I thought. Naturally, they swept upfield straight from the kick-off and scored their equaliser. 2-2 it finished. Never mind. We are the bloody champions!

After sitting through the above celebrations on the pitch, it was time to feast my eyes on the dressing-room celebrations that I’d heard so much about but not quite been able to believe. I watched, bemused, as several players dressed in strange black kits jumped about and danced and sang in a fluorescent-lit dressing room. After a moment I realised that I recognised none of the players and the kits they were all wearing were AIK Athens kits. I was witnessing a stupid bug. AIK Athens were being shown instead of my team. I have no idea why. Athens were the home team for this fixture. Maybe that’s the bug: only the home team can be shown celebrating in the dressing room after a title win. Ah well.

Here’s the final table:

Here’s the intriguing final statistics for season 2017:

With that record I had no right to win the title. A win % of 55.26 is not a title-winning performance. I think the game threw me a massive bone this season. But sometimes it’s best not to peek behind that curtain where the great Wizard named Seabass sits and operates his infernal machinery. So I won’t.

But that poor end-of-season record does at least mean that I still have something to aim for. A ‘proper’ league title win, with a healthier win % (and lots more goals scored).

Oh, and there’s still one more thing to go for, of course, in season 2018 and beyond. The Holy Grail of Master League. THE TREBLE.

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My next post will be on Thursday. I’m taking tomorrow off to, ah, rob a bank or something. From now on I’ll probably take a day off after the completion of every season. A day’s gap provides some natural breathing space between seasons for readers—and for me.

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