That’s a high-quality screenshot in more ways than one…

No, it’s not the final table for the season. (I’d be turning cartwheels of joy if it was.) That is the table after 10 games. There are 4 games left to play. I’m 2 points clear of Valenciennes below me. I think I’m going to do it. I’m finally going to get promoted out of Division 2, after 339 seasons of trying, or whatever it’s been.

I think I have finally ‘arrived’ on the PSP/PS2 version of PES2008. I know how to defend. I know how to attack. I know what is and isn’t possible with which kinds of players. I’ve finally stopped trying to dribble past everybody all the time, which is something that you can do with preposterous ease on the so-called ‘next-gen’ version of the game, which I played for five months and will never play again (except out of curiosity one rainy day in July, perhaps).

I’ve also had to adjust to the game’s hair-trigger shooting after the ‘heavy’ shooting of the PS3 version. I’m sending less shots ballooning over the bar, and more into the back of the net. My goal difference is looking healthier.

It’s still not all rosy. I still concede maddening goals. I still come up against CPU players who seem unstoppable no matter how careful I am with what I call ‘micro-tactics’—when you have a runner running full-pelt at your defence, and you have to decide, quickly, whether to dive in, or try to shepherd him away, or bring across another player with the Square button and try a combination of both. If I’m feeling impatient and frustrated I’ll dive in (and often mis-time it, and concede a free kick/penalty, or miss the tackle competely).

But that’s the level of play that I had and enjoyed for several years on PES6, PES5, PES4, PES3, PES2, PES, ISS2, ISS, all of them.

I never, ever felt about any of those games, “Now I am your master. Now there is nothing else I want from you.”

I played them all with consistent pleasure and a feeling of being challenged by them until their replacements came out. As I’ve said before: if Konami’s yearly updates were taking me for a mug, I was happy to be so taken. That’s the kind of being-taken-for-a-mug that I like very much.

I can feel myself straining at the leash to go off on one about next-gen PES2008 here (again), but that’s old ground now. Suffice to say that I felt very much taken for a mug by it, and not in the nice way. But I have a new outlook on life. Yes, a great session on PES can do that for me. All is right with the world.

In my latest game I got two fine goals with Komol, one of them a stooping header from the edge of the box. My other goal in this 3-0 win was Larsson’s first for the club, cutting inside from the left and firing low past the keeper.

Right. Here we go. It’s the first game after the negotiations. I’ve picked up some more players to ‘cushion’ my squad. I think I’ve got the hang of PES2008 now. No more excuses. Promotion here I come.

This was a great game—truly memorable for so many reasons and, I think, the turning-point for me and the PSP/PS2 version of PES2008.

I was a Podolski goal up and cruising when the CPU’s God Mode kicked in. Levante got the ball and kept it until they scored to make it 1-1. Oh well, I thought. At least now I’ll be able to get the ball back. But no: they kept it again, until they scored again. 2-1 to them. For the love of… Calm blue ocean. Calm blue ocean. Breathe.

I started to keep it at the back and knock it around a bit. This is the golden rule, I hear, when you think the CPU is cheating or trying to cheat. Just keep the ball. Pass it around. Pass it back constantly if you have to. Don’t let the CPU torment you.

It paid off before half time. A corner out on the left rebounded to Camacho, who provided a delightful side-footed finish:

Camacho’s most significant goal for me yet. It got me back into the game at 2-2.

Half time came and went. I scored another three goals in the second half—two of them from Podolski, to complete his hat trick. Both were headers from Roberto Carlos crosses. The young Brazilian is already playing like a legend.

All of which lifts me up to the heady heights of fourth place. I’m only 3 points off second place and one of those lovely promotion spots. Alas, my goal difference remains poor. That 8-1 hammering I took at the start of the season is taking its toll, despite a couple of big wins of my own.

But if I keep playing well—and I am playing well, now; I think I finally get what the PSP/PS2 version of PES2008 is all about—then I’ll not only make up the goal difference, but get enough points on the board for it probably not to matter.

After suffering the worst of all possible starts to this season, things have settled down. I’ve started to play well and put money in the bank. Perhaps that hair-raising defeat was just what I needed to shock me out of my complacency with PES2008. Several months spent playing the (in my opinion) utterly terrible, un-PES-like next-gen version of the game really left me with the feeling that all I had to do to win was turn up.

I’ve got 3000 points in the bank to play with, but after almost wrecking my career last season and having to release 7 players to get my wage bill down, I won’t get caught like that again. I’m not going to spend any money on transfer fees for players at this stage.

Even if I wanted to spend, there’s just not much quality on the market. Notoriously, the Unbelonging list seems never to be populated. The Openness to Negotiation list (the poor man’s Unbelonging list) is packed with clapped-out thirtysomethings just half a season from retirement.

I stopped off at the Youth list (I will never, ever call it the ‘Rookie’ list) and picked up 4 players. Not just for their own sake but to bulk out my seriously depleted squad. Here they are:

Djordjevic - a left-sided AMF. I don’t remember him from any previous PES but his starting stats look good and I need a dedicated left-footed midfielder.

Larsson - the legendary CF. I’ve played with him a few times in the past few PESes and he is a great striker to have at your disposal. A veritable goal machine.

Cervantes - a solid, dependable CMF/AMF to have on the bench. I can’t remember when the PES powers-that-be started calling youth players after celebrated names from the world of art and literature. Was it PES5? I think it was. In PES5 I remember at one point having Borges in goal, Maupassant in defence, Cervantes in midfield, and, er, Teddy Sheringham up front.

Roberto Carlos - really pleased to snap him up before a CPU team grabbed him.

These new players are all unfinished 17-year-olds, so they won’t be tearing up trees or tilting at windmills any time soon. What they will bring me, immediately, is some welcome respite for my experienced players.

I’m gunning for promotion at the end of this season, and now I think I can get it. What’s kept my results patchy so far has been the fatigue factor. My players were all knackered all the time. They almost never had a rest. That can change now.