PES Chronicles

*cringes with shame*

Yes. I lost 8-1. The CPU put eight goals past me. I conceded EIGHT times in Pro Evolution Soccer—a resounding first and, I hope, a last. I don’t know how I even managed to get 1. Take a look at the CPU’s Shots on goal…

Now is it obvious that I’ve never been ‘playful with the truth’ by saying I’m only an average PES player? At the moment I’m not even average. I’m way below average. I’m playing terribly.

In mitigation (there isn’t much), I was playing on the PSP for the first time after a long weekend on the PS2 version (played on my PS3). The game is just different enough on the two consoles for things to feel awkward immediately after a transition from one to the other.

It still doesn’t excuse the scoreline. Nothing excuses it. Not even my new slimmed-down squad can really be seen as a reason why I lost 8-1. The screenshot on the left shows exactly what I see when I look for substitutes mid-game—it’s scary stuff, having so few players to choose from.

But this was the first game of the season and none of my First XI—all decent players—were even tired. No excuses there.

I was hoping for a good start after having to lay off a load of players to avoid a Game Over after last season. And this is what I get. 8-1.

I also had four players sent off. It was due to my old bad habit of getting one sent off, and going a few goals behind, and trying too hard to get a goal back while defending deperately, and having another sent off, and conceding more goals, and losing all hope and discipline…

When I was 6-0 down I received my fourth red card—Handanovic, my keeper, dismissed for bringing down a Sparta player in the box. I was so befuddled and demoralised that I let Jaric go in goal for the rest of the game.

With 7 men on the pitch I did try my best to get another one sent off and the game abandoned. Would the CPU have been awarded ‘only’ a 3-0 win? I never got to find out. The CPU scored another two goals, and I somehow got a consolation goal, and that was humiliatingly that.

At times in PES you just have to lick your wounds and get on with it. I played game 2 of the new season straightaway. Things couldn’t get any worse. Could they?

It was tricky to field a team. Four of my players were suspended. Lehmann stepped into goal. Don’t get him sent off whatever you do, I told myself. I had to play Che Hyon-Hon at left back.

With my trimmed-down team and squad, I dug deep. I concentrated. I defended with discipline and care , and ground out a precious 2-1 victory.

I’m 6th in the table, just 3 points from the top, although my goal difference is naturally the worst in Division 2 by a long way. I could still do something this season, I think. But will those 8 goals conceded cost me at season’s end?