PES Chronicles

One of the big, big things I had against the next-gen version of PES2008 was its ‘wonder dribble’ feature that allowed you to dribble with almost any player of above-average abilities through the entire CPU opposition.

It’s probably not an exaggeration to say that next-gen PES2008 is one of the most dismaying things in the whole world, ever. The fact that I played it for a couple of months is a testament to my powers of self-deception.

I’m currently giving the last-gen version a try-out on the PSP. If I like what I find, I’ll get the PS2 version (from a bargain bucket; Konami and Team Seabass will not get another penny out of me this year).

I’m liking what I’ve found so far. Thankfully, wonder-dribbling is nowhere to be found. It’s what I think of as a proper PES game. I’m halfway through my second season in a Master League career with Coventry City. If I do make the transition to the PS2 version, I’ll be able to transfer this career over to it from the PSP, and back again, as often as I like. It’ll also become the main focus for this blog.

At the moment it’s almost certain that I’ll be doing this. I’ve found no drawbacks on the PSP version that would stop me. The CPU teams are super-aggressive, and infuriatingly prone at times to forcing their way through my entire defence—with every ball-bobble bobbling back to them—but that’s okay.

The only slight concern I have is that the PS2 version on my PS3 might cause me a small amount of graphical snobbery. Despite the next-gen version’s awful gameplay, it does have decent next-gen HD graphics. They’re not great—more PS2.5 than PS3—but they are considerably better than PS2 graphics. A few months back when I tried to revive my love of PES5, its terrible-looking graphics—all chalky and grainy—were one of the reasons I couldn’t get back into it.

But I’m having no trouble playing the PSP version with great enjoyment. Come the moment of slipping the PS2 disc into my PS3, I’ll be okay…. After I spend a moment or two sulkily wondering why I had to go and spend £400 on a next-gen console just to end up playing a PS2 game on it (curse you, Seabass!).

I don’t think I will ever get over the fact that next-gen PES2008 was and is a disaster. I’m traumatised for life. There’s nowhere to even begin to try to convey the extent of my feelings of betrayal, loss, disappointment, anger, and frustration. It was supposed to be the greatest-ever PES. It was supposed to be the reason to buy a PS3. It turned out to be easily the worst PES game ever, and barely deserving of the name. I, for one, still cannot believe it has happened. Why, why, why?