PES Chronicles

It finally happened. A bit sooner than I thought it would, but it happened.

100 league goals. After just 29 games of a 38-game season.

I don’t really feel any sense of achievement. In every PES since PES came into being, 100 goals in a Master League season was almost the stuff of fantasy – for me it was, anyway. I’ll say it again: I’m just an average player. I’m not a PES wunderkind.

I remember getting close to 100 goals in PES6. I was on 92 goals or thereabouts towards the end of one particularly successful ML season. I psyched myself up to get to the magic 100 mark in the last three or four matches – only for two of them to be 0-0 draws, and the other two to be 0-1 defeats. On 92 goals I stayed. But that was PES6.

There was no danger of missing out on 100 goals this season in PES2008. In fact it might even be harder not to score 100 goals, once you get bedded down in a Master League with a squad of good players.

The only thing left to aim for now on the goalscoring front is to get a final goal difference of +100 or more. Now that would be even more ridiculous. The frightening thing is, I’ll almost certainly do it.

At least I had a couple of thrilling matches in among all the goalfests. One match in particular stood out. It was against Portsmouth, away. They’ve been regular whipping boys for a few seasons now. I went into the game anticipating a straightforward 0-5 victory, or better.

It did not go according to plan.

Portsmouth got the early goal to go 1-0 up. Then I had Marchisio sent off. Then Portsmouth went 2-0 up.

I was distraught. Despite being ‘only’ 5 points ahead of Man Utd in the table, I’ve played PES for long enough to know what can happen in a League when results start getting a bit ’screwy’.

Muntari got me one back in the 80th minute. I was 2-1 down, with ten minutes left. I would settle for a point from this game. Could I do it?

Of course I could. I got the equaliser with Shimizu in the 85th minute. Then I got two more with Shimizu in the 89th and 90th minutes. I’d come from 2-0 down with ten men to win 2-4. It felt good, but…

Once the dust had settled, I felt less good about it. There was no way I should have been able to come back like that, even with the players in my squad.

Next I beat Helsingborgs 6-2. Two of my goals came from Guimaraes, my skilful Brazilian right-back. Both were fine finishes after mazy runs through the entire Helsingborgs team. Here’s the better of the two:

(At the point where the clip starts, Guimaraes had already gone past two Helsingborgs players by the halfway line.)

I’m never surprised to score goals like this in PES2008. I’ve said a lot about the difficulty level of this game. I’ve criticised it, carped about it, mumbled and grumbled about it. I won’t say any more now.

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I’ve found out what comes after Team Popularity ‘A’ rank. I’ve gone up another level, to ‘S’.

That progress bar is still filling up after every game. Is there another level after this one? I wonder if I’ll have time to find out before this season and this Master League career both come to an end.

When I posted the Maldini screenshot last time, I was impressed by the quality of most of PES2008’s player likenesses. Only a few are either so vague or so grotesque that you cannot help thinking: eh? Ian Rush’s mugshot is one of the vague ones:

Eh? Let me get this straight. Iwam Russell is definitely Ian Rush, yes? No? Someone correct me if I’m wrong. I might be wrong. I’m often wrong.

Rushie has been a disappointment so far. It was only to be expected. 25 years old and coming out of the Unbelonging list, he’s had no development. He has no pace at all, and PES2008 is all about pace. Without pace, a striker needs a formidable array of other qualities to be a success in your team.

Schwarz is a prime example. He’s by no means quick, but his strength and shot power more than makes up for it. He got another hat-trick during a routine 6-0 thumping of Everton. (Thumping teams 6-0 is routine in PES2008. Hence the aura of disgruntlement that surrounds the game this year.) In several other League games it went all my way too.

The only really tough game of this period came against River Plate. They scored first, a tame goal from a corner, and I lost the plot. How dare the CPU score against me? I will NOT have it…

By half-time I was lucky not to be 0-3 down and down to 9 men.

I recovered my wits for the second half and started to play properly again. I got an equaliser. Then I got a penalty. Schwarz took it – and missed, sending the ball a long, long way over the bar.

Penalties in PES are rubbish. They have always been rubbish. They’re too random. There was no reason why Schwarz had suddenly decided to blast the ball over the bar. I wasn’t pressing up on the analogue stick. I had only tapped the shoot button.

Fortunately, I got a winner in open play a few minutes from the end.

Manchester United still haven’t lost a game all season – but they have drawn seven, and many of these have come during this period. I played them in a thrilling Championship six-pointer.

If only all matches in PES2008 were like this. Tension, skill, near-misses, last-ditch tackles, goal-line clearances – this match had everything. The only thing it lacked was a goal.

When Ronaldo burst past Guimaraes in the last minute and bore down on goal, I feared the worst, and prepared to sharpen my special Scripting pen. But the little Portugeezer flashed his shot wide of the post. The full-time whistle blew immediately. The final result was a fair 0-0.

I’m happy enough with the point. It keeps me three points clear at the top of the pile. That goal difference will come in handy if I inexplicably stop winning nearly every game. Looking at how far behind Chelsea are, it’s safe to say that the title is a two-horse race, and has been for some time.

I’ve scored 87 goals in 25 matches. There are 13 matches left. I’ll easily score 100 goals in the League this season, and then some. This is not a cause for satisfaction. Quite the opposite, in fact.

In the D1 Cup, I played Arsenal in the Quarter Final, and dispatched them with aplomb, 4-1 on aggregate. I’ll be up against Chelsea in the Semi Final.

In the European Cup, my Quarter Final opponents were Villarreal. The first leg was at my place, and I lost 0-1. They scored early. I had umpteen efforts on goal but couldn’t break through. I looked forward to the second leg with great excitement. Seriously – I was all aquiver… As expected, I overcame them comfortably, winning the tie 4-1 on aggregate. In the Semi Final, I will play Real Madrid.